


The Sacrifice of Angels

by OMEGA1979



Series: The Signs that Yondu cares [11]
Category: Guardians of the Galaxy - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Brain Damage, Dysfunctional Family, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Original Character Death(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-06
Updated: 2015-09-12
Packaged: 2018-04-03 02:16:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 23,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4082827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OMEGA1979/pseuds/OMEGA1979
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set in the days after Remnant of his Past, Yondu does his best to find Peter in the aftermath. But how will the Captain of the Ravagers deal with what he finds…and his own guilt?</p><p>The Signs that Yondu Cares Part 11.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Set in the days after Remnant of his Past, Yondu does his best to find Peter in the aftermath. But how will the Captain of the Ravagers deal with what he finds…and his own guilt? Rated T for swearing

The Signs that Yondu Cares Part 11. The Sacrifice of Angels 

Chapter 1

It was after the second day that all the Ravagers had given up trying even to suggest to Yondu that he was gone, there was no way a frail Terran body would have survived the explosions that had ripped through the Xandarians ship and caused the debris which they were now combing through, with their searchlights.

It turned out that Peter was right, it wasn't a flippant remark caused by the beating, there was an abundance of good shit on the Xandarian ship. Treasures and jewels and units which would keep them in pay for months.

But Yondu didn't care about that, all he cared about was finding Peter, even if it didn't matter since the boy was dead. In the end he piled Alezduran and Kraglin onto his M-Ship and scoured the site, spreading over miles, as the rest with their jet boots and tractor beams transported the items.

To the Xandarians, one First Mate and the other a skilled Ravager of seven years, even if it was in name only they each had more experience put together, Hell had seen some serious combat. Yet under the watchful gaze of the Captain…they were nervous. Kraglin was perhaps the only person in the Galaxy who could stand up to Yondu in any way, but he was hesitant too.

He had rarely seen his Captain like this, standing up with his eyes darting over every part of space with the impossible chance his senses would hone in on the boy. Yondu's face was a grim line; he had said almost nothing since the ship had exploded. Like everyone else, he had just watched before the debris begun to settle and he put his plan into motion. They had found several crew members, whom they instantly ignored, but not the boy.

After a while, with the tension unbearable, the Xandarians going over the debris, finally Alezduran looked up, his voice hesitant, veering on relief. "I think I found him".

Yondu stepped over to the screen as the hybrid brought up the image, there admits some of the debris, was a small white figure smaller than the rest, spinning slowly in the void of space.

There was something obscuring the image, something small and pathetic, and deep within Yondu's chest his heart clenched suddenly

"Enhance it". Yondu demanded as the hybrid shook his head, "Can't do…there's too much crap out there, and we can't use the beams, in case it…"

"Whatever" Grunted Yondu, as he turned from the pair and made his way to the cargo doors, grabbing a blanket on the way, which he dumped on the side as he hastily pulled his own jet boots on. He hadn't used them in ages and didn't need too, he had crew to do shit like this, in truth, he could have ordered one of them to do this. But this he had to do, he owed the boy that much.

As he activated the helmet which collapsed across his face, and taking a deep breath of the oxygen filtering through the mask and making his eyes look redder through the eyepiece, he gave the order for the Hanger bay to open.

It had been ages since he had stepped out into deep space as he felt the coldness wash over him, even though his thick long coat. Activating the boots, he pushed himself into deep space, trying not to think about how he was only a small insignificant speck in the universe. In the distance he could see the rest of the M-Ship's going through the debris, but only he would step out for the boy.

Moving to a stop as he came closer, pushing the hull plating out of the way, as through the eye holes his gaze fell on Peter, turning through space and the lump he tried to ignore, had been trying to ignore for days caught in his throat.

Peter had closed his eyes, and seemed to try to hug his body in a futile effort for comfort from the moment of the explosion, but that did nothing to hide the assault on his small, frail body, as Yondu reached out a hand and through his gloves caught the boy.

Even though his limbs were frozen solid from the cold of space and rigor mortis, Yondu still pulled him close to his own. He looked like he was sleeping, even with the bald head with the few small patches that the bastard Kruger hadn't cut, he looked like he would wake up any moment. Whilst Yondu hovering in deep space, could only look down at him, feeling nothing but guilt.

"I'm sorry Peter". He murmured, perhaps in his head, as for a small moment his eyes misted over, which he banished. He hadn't cried since the moment his tribe had been slaughtered, like hell he was about to start now.

Taking a moment to get his thoughts together, he headed back with the boy close to his chest

With the weight of the teen in his arms, Yondu reactivated his boots and headed back to his own M-Ship, stepping through the entry field, he dropped his mask and just looked down at the boy. Peter still looked like he was sleeping, what did he expect that the sudden return to the ship would wake him up? Yondu thought to himself, as he grabbed the blanket and positioned it over the teen, sending a quick message to Kraglin to return to the Eclector.

Yondu could have moved from where he was standing but didn't, he knew that Peter's return would bring curiosity, recalling when he had been abducted almost a year earlier. No way was he going to make him an object of curiosity in death, he deserved better than that.

He always deserved better that this, something rung in Yondu's brain which he ignored, as the ship docked back into the Hanger bay, and as expected the doors opened, Yondu hearing the quick steps of Kraglin and Alezduran who had activated the pilots exit to get out of the ship.

Word, which was no doubt being spread from Alezduran since the hybrid was a soppy bastard at times and had radioed ahead, as Yondu watched every Ravager… even the ones sorting out their own M-Ship, place everything down and stand at attention or what passed for it.

Yondu watched almost in unison as some of the most hardened bastard, looked down, either out of respect or it was just awkward seeing their Captain carrying the dead body of the teenager, as an unnatural hush fell over the Hanger Bay.

Yondu knew how much time Peter spent down here, always trying to lend a hand, to learn something more. At times his childish curiosity a counterpart to their existence, as he stepped further, past Kraglin and Alezduran who just had their heads down whilst Yondu just felt uncomfortable even though no eyes were upon him, as he exited the Hanger and life begun to return to the space even though he noticed it was subdued than normal.

Peter wasn't a Ravager, his training never being completed, but if they were going to treat him as such…then so be it. Yondu noticed the deck to the Med Bay clear of Ravagers as if everyone was giving him a wide berth. Well, he had been pissed off from the moment he gave the orders, even he knew that…but right at that moment the only thing, he didn't know was what to think. As the Med Bay opened with a hiss, and two of the Medics were preparing the Rigorbath.

It hadn't been used in a very long time, the waters loosening the bones to make them moveable, to set them in a proper place for burial. Yondu wasn't enough of a bastard to send the boy on his way without him being presentable.

The two medic stepped back, as Yondu approached the steaming clear water and gently immersed him, legs first, chest then over the nose and mouth, only then did he pull the blanket back, as he took a moment to just look down at the boy, even with the cuts to his body and the dried blood which begun to ebb off him tainting the water.

"Get him prepared and call me when it's done" he informed the Medics would begin the task of removing what remained of the boys clothes and making him look presentable. As Yondu left the Med Bay, he just stopped and looked ahead, he knew he had to find out what Terran Funeral customs were and sort those out, but for a moment he was just hesitant. In the end, he went back to the bridge, even with the boy found there was a shit load of stuff to get through and for that he needed to be on form.

In the end, though he sat in his office, and reaching into his fridge, his hand found a bottle of the Zatoan, the beer Peter had made for him. He savoured each drop for a while trying to blot out the feeling in his chest, as he reached a discreet summons from the Med Bay, of course, they would never announce it. That was Yondu's job being the Captain, besides what could they say? "Boy's still dead," he thought glibly to himself as he headed back to room.

There admits the machines and beds was Alezduran, which Yondu only acknowledged with a look, he knew the hybrid had recently begun studying to be a field medic, in a way was trying to prove his worth the same way as Peter did, does. Hell, he needed to think of Peter in the past tense he thought as he made his way to the Rigorbath.

In his absence someone had cut Peter's clothes off and he was as naked as the day he was born, lying on his back his green eyes open with his pupils fixed and dilated and his open wounds and lash marks appeared to be healing…Perhaps it was the Rigorbath? Yondu had never been sure how it worked; it was just some stuff they had stolen from a Xandarian ship.

"How long until it's finished? "The tone was something which showed how pissed he truly was, as all the Medic could do was shrug. "We think three hours, never been used on Terran's before". Was all he could say as Yondu could only peer at the boy, he felt like dismissing them and saying something in private to the teen, but what could he say?

God he was becoming a sentimental bastard after all, as he just looked at the boy's dead face through the clear water. Peter looked so small, the only thing that was disturbing the water was the tiny air bubbles emitting from the boys mouth or nose, as Yondu turned away.

Air bubbles…fuck

The realisation hit as Yondu as he dived back to the Rigorbath and breaking the surface with his hand, which he placed on the boys chest and his own eyes widened. There it was, oh shit it was a heartbeat. It wasn't strong, but it was there…oh shit.

"Prepare a bed now". Yondu yelled as over the Medics as he grabbed the boy and brought him back to the surface. There was nothing from Peter, no reaction as Yondu manoeuvred his loose limbs in his arms and rushed him over to the bed.

There should have been nothing, just a dead body, but everyone watched as Yondu placed the soaking boy on the bed, and saw as the life support immediately turned on, their mouth agape, as Yondu tried to take it all in but could only say

"He's not dead."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before I get started, I am so sorry for the angst in this Chapter...sometimes writing Yondu is really hard, but now he has choices to be made, and he hates it

Everything was silent as the machines continued on their journeys, as everyone tried to take everything in. He's still alive…he's still bloody alive". Yondu declared not caring how it was perceived.

"You" He turned to the first medic, who seemed just stunned. "Don't sit there like a bitch, fix this damn kid". Pulling back his coat to reveal the Yaka arrow so they knew it was serious as the two medics aided by Alezduran who to his credit didn't volunteer his services and just got stuck in as they went to work on the boy.

There under Yondu's scrutinizing gaze needles were inserted into his body, as a tube was inserted in his chest to revive his collapsed lung from what he could see on the med scanner. The boy was a mess inside and out, his legs and arms were broken...his skull was fractured.

Along with he harsh fact that he had been scalped by that bastard Kruger, as he watched Peter's head being pulled back as an oxygen mask was placed over his nose and mouth as he begun to breathe easier. "That's it, boy, that's it. Just hold on". Yondu vowed in his head as he watched the boy still motionless, but according to his vitals getting stronger. It wasn't much, but it was something.

Yondu could have watched them, hell put the bastards under pressure but in the end he saw Kraglin coming into the room, so motioned for the First Mate to follow him, at that time of day the deck was devoid of crew all going through the spoils of the ship, which they both would get through later, as he quickly filled Kraglin in on what had happened.

"What the hell do you mean, he's not dead?" Exclaimed Kraglin his outburst rare for him, but understandable.

"That's impossible, it's been two days". Kraglin was saying the only thing on Yondu's mind, but it was the Xandarian who voiced the conclusion.

"His father's side, apparently the bastard can breathe in space too…fuck knows how". Yondu shrugged since what he knew about Peter's species, well half species, They may be a bunch of uptight jackasses especially his father, but breathing in space…how?

Yondu had no idea, but he had to say something, hell needed to…and he desperately needed a drink.

"Hell knows…but if he comes into his powers now and Daddy's still looking out for him…"

Kraglin filled in the empty space "We're all fucked".

Silence fell between the two, as Yondu received a discreet summons on his personal communication, and motioned wordlessly for Kraglin, they found their way back to the Med Bay in minutes.

There on the main bed, one he had been on more times that Yondu cared to remember was Peter. His breath in unison with the machines and devices around his arms and chest, with his green eyes now closed he looked peaceful, even with the tubes and lines all over his body, as all the medics exchanged looks. This was their cue to tell Yondu everything, but of course they were hesitant too, so in the end it was Alezduran who did the talking.

Peter's body sustained massive damage; there was broken ribs, pierced lung, multiple fractures of both arms and legs and, of course, the whipping". The voice was almost monotone, which was beginning to annoy Yondu. "I know that you asshole". As the hybrid took a breath and continued. "But…everything is healing, faster that it should. His bones are knitting together he can breathe with assistance…not life support but almost by himself so he's getting stronger…".

"But" Stated Kraglin, as he looked at his Captain and knew that wasn't the news Yondu wanted to hear, as the hybrid continued.

"All tests indicate he could live, but his brain is showing no activity or function…he's totally brain dead". Alezduran finished, with the words he knew could kill him as everyone let the words sink in. Brain death…oh shit

Yondu's body stiffened along with Kraglin, and the Captains eyes darted to the brain readout, just reading flat. No stimulates, nothing.

"We're sending charges through his body, and he's going to need massages daily to stimulate his body…"

"Yeah I can do that". Stated Kraglin, remembering the time six years earlier when the boy was recovering from meningitis, which caused a look from Alezduran, who had no idea the reason why.

"So when will his brain recovery?" Asked Yondu in a flat voice , even though he knew the answer, so many other species could recover from shit like this, perhaps even his father's species even though he doubted this, as he saw all the medics hesitate.

This gave Kraglin the opportunity to finally put them out of their misery, since he didn't know Yondu's reaction "He won't will he? As a visibly upset Alezduran shook his head.

"The only thing we can do is monitor him for a few days if he changes, but if he doesn't wake up…is to put him out of his misery as quickly as possible.

The words hung in the air one more, as Yondu absorbed them all…after all he had gone through, surviving in space…and he was now brain dead! All eyes were on him, to see his next reaction, hell Yondu wasn't going to give them the satisfaction as he turned from the room with a swish of his red coat, leaving the rest just standing there, the only sound was the constant song of Peter's monitors as the boy was oblivious to everything going on around him, as Kraglin could only stand there and couldn't help look down on him.

Peter was breathing in line with the machines, the oxygen keeping him revived, but he knew he would be off it soon, and what would be left? A lump of dead living flesh, and he knew what had to be done…but the real depths of what was going through Yondu's mind, knew that he was hesitant too

Yondu walked in a way that every Ravager gave him a wide berth, from the look on their Captains, face they knew something else was going on, but no one was stupid enough to voice it out loud. Yondu didn't know where he was walking too, it was his ship and he knew every inch of it as he just kept on walking

Yondu walked until he reached the end of the ship, a small area pretty much used for junk, even if there was a large porthole which afforded a perfect view of the stars, his predecessor for some reason had installed a rail, which he rested his hands on. In truth, he rarely came here. The Eclector was five miles long and across, there were a million other places, but this here this was his place of solitude, even if he hadn't come here in so long.

Yondu just watched the stars hovering in space, mentally reading the charts like he was wrought to do. Being a good Captain, this was a skill he had learned years ago, he had done it for so long sentiment never got in the way, as an image of Peter entered in his head once more, which he tried to banish…but couldn't.

A myriad of thoughts went through his head but only came down to two things Peter Jason Quill and brain death, shit. How the hell he survived Space was a miracle in itself, to be the one to disconnect him from the machines since almost unfair.

Yondu was so lost in his thoughts he almost didn't hear Kraglin come into the room, even though Yondu's other sense. The one he hardly ever told anyone about quivered in anticipation, as a silence fell on the pair, whilst Yondu never looked round.

"Let me guess, the crew are getting restless, want some answers…and in a few days they'll be asking for his room…right?" While Kraglin to Yondu's credit, just gave a dark chuckle, hell only he could find the humour in this type of this.

"Screw the crew Yondu…they only want to know when you're pulling the plug". As the Xandarian came closer and leaned his own arm on the rail. "Can't keep him on it forever, can you?"

"Boy's not going to wake up is he?" Yondu could only say flatly, as Kraglin just sighed. "No, he's too far gone; he's just a vegetable on a Med Bed. Unless you think he's going to wake up?" A comment which took Yondu a good minute to answer and coming to the same conclusion.

"His father, jackass that he is, doesn't have that ability…so must be his hybrid nature". He shrugged wishing his First Mate had the decency to at least bring beer, as Kraglin exhaled.

"Well whatever, boys still dead Yondu…you can't come back from that". He stated as he took a step back. "I'm going back to the bridge, still got shit to sort out, and you can't stay here forever…or perhaps you can". Kraglin stopped and took a good look around, "God it really is quiet here, and strange that Peter never found it". A comment that involuntary caused Yondu to grin, "Really", gesturing to the wall where Quill's shaky graffiti spelled out his initials "PJQ", which Yondu had noticed the moment he walked in.

"Yeah, well there everywhere, you should see the air ducts sometime". As he shrugged and just left the room

Leaving Yondu all alone with his thoughts his eyes subconsciously drifting to where Peter had scribed his name, he knew he should have been pissed off, but who would he bitch to? To a living slab of meat on a med bad, hell what was the point?

All Yondu knew what that it wants meant to end like this, the boy was a Ravager or training to be one, he had undergone his first mission, and by some shitty turn of events that first solo mission which he noticed had boosted his confidence had now got him killed. No, not today.

Yondu eventually left the area and made his way back to the Med Bay, all was silent with the Medics including Alezduran were out of the room apart from the faint note of the machines. And there was Peter lying on the bed, with the fluid going in and out of his veins. He looked so small, at least when his father had taken and tortured him, everyone knew he was going to wake up, but now…

With the room devoid of people, Yondu could be honest and the boy deserved that.

"Listen, they tell me you're dead, but that just bollocks. I know you're still in there". The words made no impact on the still teenager, even though Yondu wished for a reaction, for anything he leaned closer, his mouth very close to Peter's ear.

"You have one month to wake up, or that's it…thirty days to prove them wrong. You have to do that Peter. Because I'm not going to pull that plug without giving you a chance". With his words said, a vow, a promise…whatever.

Yondu's lips brushed the side of Peter's head, in which a stranger would have been called a fatherly kiss, as he straightened up, sat next to the bed in a chair, and knowing that this shit worked on Xandarians too, took out his Pad accessed something appropriate, and begun reading. trying to get a reaction out of the Terran who just slept on oblivious.

To be continued


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, here we go chapter 3. Once again full of angst and Yondu is making decisions about the brain dead Terran Peter Quill...but for who's real benefit? Sorry about the angst, really sorry...but guilty Yondu is really depressed!

Chapter 3

In the days that flowed on the Eclector, eventually every went back to how it should have been, with the Ravagers anticipating a small windfall courtesy of their efforts going through the debris of the Xandarian ship, missions were completed and raids planned, but all of this was done by Kraglin.

Every spare moment Yondu wasn't on the bridge, he was in the Med Bay, just sitting, reading talking to the boy, even after retrieving Peter's precious Walkman, and placing it on the boys neck had listened to it so many times he had subconsciously begun humming the Jackson Five.

Peter had still showed no signs of life, as eventually more of his tubes were removed and his bandages discarded. He looked as healthy as he always did, thanks to nutrients that were being injected into his veins every day to ensure he didn't die from dehydration or hunger.

None of them, not even Alezduran could fathom the reason why his body healed so quickly, as if a small compensation for the dead state of his brain. After about five days, however with no response from Peter whose only sign of life was his chest moving.

Yondu in the meantime had accessed everything he could to do with comas and brain death and came to a decision, as under the medics gaze he wrapped a blanket around the boy and took him from the Med Bay.

Peter's room was right next to Yondu's who swiped his hand over the door and entered the boys private domicile, in the years Yondu had given the boy his own space it had eventually turned into a typical teen's room. There was an assortment of the objects Peter had in his backpack, which was currently hanging on the back of a chair, as on a shelf the Troll doll, appeared to have prominence with it's smiling plastic face, which Yondu had secretly converted just seemed a bit unnerving as Yondu gently placed the boy down and darted his eyes over the walls.

There were a few hand drawn pictures, done years ago, as Peter tried desperately to cling to memories of his past life on Terra. Along with few scantily clad woman as he was entering his teens and puberty was entering his mind, and sadly not his body as he looked so young along with a poster he must have pulled from a magazine.

it wasn't much just a simple advertisement of the lush shores and glorious sunset of a beach, realizing that it was enough of an eye level so it would have been the first thing Peter would have seen the moment he woke up. "The beach, Yondu…you will take me to the beach". Peter's final words rung in his head, as uncomfortable suddenly he turned his gaze back to the boy, who was suddenly swarmed by his bed. Yondu had been wondering if being in his own environment would have some effect on him as he rubbed his eyes, but nothing at all.

With the boy settled, Yondu turned the boys head, so at least he wouldn't choke in his sleep, and settled a blanket around him, to see what would happen if anything did and made his way out of the room locking it securely as he took his place on the Bridge.

Since this crapfest had stated his main duties had been shared between Kraglin who didn't mind, and Horuz who did but who wasn't stupid to voice it out loud as under the watchful look of his Captain, Kraglin slid out of the Captains seat and took his place between Horuz and Alezduran.

Yondu sent the order the next raid and begun to look at the totals for the Xandarian ship, it was a lot, a hell of a lot meaning the crew would be in pay for months and be happy, all Yondu needed was to send the order and that was it. But where did Peter factor into this…how much would he get, what was his worth?

What is he worth? Yondu's conscience suddenly asked him, which he immediately quashed, he had no time for thinking about shit like this. He was the Captain, he had a job to do and a ship to run, and all he could think about was Peter, his brain dead, his body still living...currently all alone. Shit, what if he was choking?

Immediately Yondu got to his feet, as Kraglin and Horuz could only look up as he made his way back to Peter's room and swiped his hand over the door, there was Peter still unmoved from where Yondu had laid him, as the Centurion could only stare at the boy and run his hand over his headpiece.

Damn this boy, he thought as he sat next to him on the bed, which immediately sagged but still produced nothing, as Yondu could only admonish himself, what was he expecting...a sodding miracle? Once again Yondu looked around the room, and back to the teenager. From what he had been reading, coma patients needed their families around them, to will them back from the brink…but Peter had no family, just a bunch of Ravagers.

At least on the ship he was surrounded by people, even those who despised him, at least he was with people he knew. Looking around the room once more, Yondu's mind was made up, as he went to the drawers and begun pulling out soft trousers and jumpers, he wanted to keep the boy warm, but not overheat him as he begun the task of stripping Peter from the robe he had been wearing over the past few days.

Yondu couldn't help but notice that even though he was skinny, his bones appeared to be healing perfectly, as he briefly wondered what Peter would think if he knew Yondu was undressing him like a baby and leaving his entire body, junk and all in sight. Yondu was aware that teenagers needed privacy, and this teen looked so young for his age and still had one of those bodies frozen on the cusp of puberty, as he begun the task of redressing the boy.

As he pulled the jumper over his head and managed to manoeuvre his arms and limbs, he thought about shoes. Peter like the other Ravagers wore good leather, which was expensive, but lasted years. He suddenly recalled a memory of bringing a pair back, when Peter was about eleven, and because they were too big, but Peter was so desperate he had worn them with three pairs of socks Remembering the times he has seen the boy clomping about in his boots, trying not to fall caused Yondu to involuntary chuckle as he pulled a pair of socks over the boys bare feet.

At least he looked presentable, more like himself; Yondu thought as he would have ruffled the boy's hair out of habit, if he had any left. Sighing, Yondu stood up and with some manoeuvring managed to negotiate Peter in his arms, so he was leaning against his chest in the crook of his neck.

Yondu could feel the soft breath of the boy on his own skin, and reminisced that this was no different from then he was sick when he was eight, it was almost too familiar he said to himself, as he left the room and made his way back to the bridge.

Yondu was expecting the looks of the Ravagers hell by now they had all heard of the boy, even though would only permit Kraglin and Alezduran to be in the room, it wasn't that he didn't trust them, he just didn't trust them.

Yondu did, however, observe the tense silence as Kraglin once again slid out of the Captain's chair, and Yondu took up his rightful place, as once again the boy settled onto his chest and there was a part of Yondu that willed someone to say something, just anything.

Yet, of course, no one did, even if Horuz stole them a few looks, and Alezduran only turned his head as he was coming back off his break. It was better to ignore him after all; even though they all knew the Captain was carrying around a dead teenager.

That night, if you could call it in space was debatable; Yondu finally left the bridge with the teen unmoved still breathing gently. Yondu had the option of taking him back into his room, but decided to let the boy bunk with him so he could keep an eye on him, as he stripped the boy once more and cleaned him in the bathroom, wishing on some level that Peter would wake up and be outraged, as he eventually got the boy settled into his own bed, and slid in next to him, turning down the lights so he could only hear the boys breath.

Yondu briefly wondered how Peter slept. He had over the years looked in on the boy as he was growing up and often just walked away chuckling. Normally it was all dependent on his mood, sometimes he was cuddled into a foetal position and sometimes after a hard days at work, he was sprawled all over the bed, having just the energy to kick his boots off...Yondu really had no idea.

However, it didn't change the fact he awoke several hours later, with the boy still unmoved, but with the blue hand on the Centurion on his neck in a comforting manner.

Yondu should have just gone to sleep, but couldn't help but stare at the boy, as memories of Peter over the years entered his head. He had gone from a whiny little bitch into the total opposite, but now like this, with his life snuffed but, it didn't seem even possible.

As Yondu gently stroked the back of his neck remembering that Peter over the past year had developed a habit of scratching it, on the off change his brain was functioning and was desperate for the itch to be scratched, as eventually Yondu flipped onto his back, and just looked at the ceiling, whilst in the pit of his heart he felt the rip he couldn't explain once more.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, the latest chapter, never meant to be like this, but as I wrote it, it wrote itself like this. Still pretty angsty as Yondu finds out about the other life of the brain dead Peter.

Yondu Udonta had never had a routine. He was the Captain of a bunch of Space Bastard's, living from one job to another and trying to enjoy moments in between. In all his years, he had never envisioned being a father.

One of the advantages of picking Peter up when he was eight was that the boy had a sense of who he was and Yondu had something to work with, if he were younger, or God forbid a baby, he would have been screwed. Yet now courtesy of the teen that was oblivious to all of this, he had stepped into the role,

His tentative routines, which normally begun with coffee and missions were replaced,by caring for the boy almost round the clock, beginning when he woke up and injected the nutrients into his arms to keep him alive, after which he passed him to Kraglin and Alezduran to give him a massage to prevent his bones from becoming too stiff.

Yondu had noticed he was easier to negotiate after this, and Alezduran apart from his other talents, growing up in a brothel also knew tricks that most of the Ravagers had never heard of. Yondu had initially observed the Xandarians working in silence, as Kraglin recalled the time this seemed to be his main job so many years earlier and remembered how Peter was in clear pain, he never complained once.

Eventually however the men got talking telling Peter on what he was missing out on, and that several of the Ravagers needed blaster repairs, so he needed to get his act together and wake up, they cheerfully, forced or otherwise informed

Alezduran in one of the tentative moments, had suggested to Kraglin, who had mentioned it to Yondu about taking the boy to a Healer, apparently the hybrid knew a few who could help. Something that the Captain had shot down with a dark look. He knew it would be fruitless, and was still wondering if Peter's father was still out there, and could still be after the teenager...and perhaps laughing his ass off at his own son's demise.

Even with being carried by Yondu, who took him on his daily walkabouts, so he would hear the chatter of the crew as everyone noticed, even though they weren't stupid to point it out, that Peter was shrinking.

It was as if the height was being drained from him, as according to Kraglin he begun to resemble the eight-year-old he once was. Yondu had noticed this, along with that his bald head was beginning to regrow itself, and he had gained a small head of stubbly fuzz which only contributed to making him look younger.

As the days moved closer and still nothing from the boy, even though he still slept, was washed and cared for by Yondu, he knew his time was almost up, and still nothing, which was the one thing that kept him up at night, and he held the teenager close to him, willing him to wake up, but still nothing from Peter, nothing to indicate life behind those green eyes as he checked his pupils almost daily.

In the end, with a ship to run he begun passing him to Kraglin, to get him involved in the mess hall. Kraglin didn't have it within himself to let Yondu know that most of them made themselves scarce at the sight of Peter. Their sadness giving way to embarrassment, which they wouldn't admit. In the end, Alezduran, Kraglin and Peter with occasional Horuz was making themselves comfortable in the mess playing rummy.

Years before Peter had, to his absolute joy found a fifty-two card deck in a market and had taught them to play the card games he remembered. Snap was popular, but turned violent easily, since being Ravagers they only had an incentive to play anything was if there were units involved. Peter had once mentioned that he was working on a game what the Ravagers would love, but this was before the incident and no one tried at least to think further than that.

It was at this time that Yondu was in Peter's room trying to find him something to wear, that he came across his collapsible mask lying on a shelf. Sitting at the end of the end of the bed, he activated it, watching the metal collapse on itself, and the red eyes glowed, waiting for the occupant to take a breath of the oxygen filter.

Yondu just stared at the mask, suddenly and uncomfortably aware that if Peter was wearing this, he could have lived, but since he was rare on missions he had never really needed it apart from space walks, as he recalled his tenth birthday and the gift he had given the child, "You're never going to take this off again, boy", he said to no one, but it was good to say.

Going through his clothing, he saw on the bottom of his drawer, not easily concealed, but a place where he could get to it quickly was the teens pad, it was battered when he had brought it when he was eight, but Peter had kept it in pretty good condition, as his hand fell across it and brought up the details.

There really want much, just some tech manuals, M-Ship information, a hell of a lot about Xander, as Yondu sat on the edge of the bed, shit the boy really did study everything, even down to the history and places to buy food, as Yondu spotted a file marked. "Danger, no looking", which made him chuckle. It was encoded but Peter hadn't really given this much thought as Yondu broke into it with his birthday numbers 21-06-1980 as the files came up on Peter's private video diary.

As the sight of the boy, popped into view, Yondu felt a stab of pity, Peter just have been at least eleven when he started this, his hair not as long as it soon would be, and once was, but in truth really no different from the boy having his body kneaded by two Xandarians, not too far away as he watched Peter clear his throat.

"Ok, so Alezduran suggested that I start this, because I'm a Ravager in training to chart my progress, and look back on this later", as he took a breath and exhaled, "And also because if I can't talk to someone, then I can talk to this, and get some clarity…because you know I'm a human and I live on a space ship".

For his first few videos, Peter didn't go into much, as if worried about what he would say, Yondu remembered at this point he was still doing lookouts, which he was a natural at as he moved ahead. Peter seemed to grow more confident, as he jumped to when he was twelve as he was describing the mission that had gone wrong, and Peter having narrowly avoided being raped courtesy of the actions of a Ravager who was now dead. As Peter described it, which was a few days after the events, Yondu noticed the shine in the boy's eyes.

"I mean, my side hurts like a bitch, but he's now dead, Kraglin was impressed, that I even tried to fight back. I got his cut and Yondu killed him, so he won't try that crap again…and I still can't believe that Yondu killed him in cold blood in the Mess". As Peter shook his head and grew more serious. "You know, sometimes I think that Yondu hates me".

Yondu paused the film at the boy's serious face and just thought for a second. Ok he was violating Peter's privacy, but Peter as far as he knew was currently brain dead, even though there was a part of him that knew he should have put the pad down and just left, it was over-ridden by his need to understand what the boy thought of him. Even though as Captain he really should have given two shits, as he activated the more films and kept watching.

There was a mixture of stuff, but most of it conveyed Peter frustrations at various things, a few times he had brought his work home with him, and was struggling to repair a blaster, Yondu immediately recognised as one of his own as the boy addressed the camera and the weapon, with the frustration all over his face.

"Oh Quill, I want this fixed by tomorrow…and that is an order. The asshole" Peter bit his lip, and tried to maneuverer the firing charger in place, with the aid of a soldering iron, as he signed "The worst thing is... I thought I would be going on the mission with him, but I'm not even a look out this time, even Az is going…but not me. He said "It's too dangerous""

As he exhaled once more, placing the firing charge in correctly as Yondu on the screen watched his weapon warm up. "I never get to go anywhere decent or do anything fun". As the boy checked the weapon and smiled as if coming to terms with his life. "But at least I'm pretty much the ships weapons expert now, because my hands are too small", as he laughed to himself. "I think it's because he feels bad because I'm so small". He rationalized, as Yondu watched Peter sending a message to the Captain in the past, and flicked the film off.

As Yondu scanned ahead, it was a familiar pattern, Peter expressing the frustrations of his life, his angst, the euphoria on his face when he had done something right and was practically bouncing on the bed with happiness, as he scanned further still to the time after his abduction, from the date it was about a week after he woke up in the Med Bay.

He was sitting at the end of his bed, with the haunted look in his eyes, as he absently scratched the back of his neck, Yondu noticed how pale as from the red rim of his eyes, looked like he'd been crying.

"Been off this for a few weeks, because I was kidnapped…oh my god it was hell."

Yondu leaned forward, as Peter described what had happened to him, starting with how proud he was, when he managed to save the crew, before he was hit on the back of the head, and woke up three weeks later. Yondu remembered this all too well, a Peter begun to describe the "Man in Black", and revealed the nightmares he was having before finishing with. "I called Yondu my father, I can't believe I did that…fuck knows why, but my life is a mess…"

The rest was pretty much a diatribe of angst, which Yondu was already aware of as he skipped forward a few weeks and saw the aftermath of Peter getting wasted that night, since he looked like shit. "Oh god I'm never drinking again, I so blame Alezduran for this, the asshole…but my beer was delicious".

Peter suddenly smiled. "That means Yondu loves it, and this means a solo mission…and a beach trip. Ok, the beach trip is just a dream, but it's a good dream". He maintained, even to himself, as, for the first time in ages, Yondu saw a genuine smile from the boy, which he couldn't help but imitate. "So I have to work harder, I have to work harder to show Yondu that I'm ready".

The words, the frequent mention of his name was beginning to grate on Yondu as he moved ahead, to straight after his first mission, which indirectly caused his brain damage. There was Peter, pretty much dressed in the rags that were once the blue dress, and looking like shit practically bouncing on the bed. "Oh my god, my first mission and it was awesome…and I got my first kiss too".

Even though Yondu knew all this, Peter looked so happy, revealing a side of himself no one ever saw, as he described Kruger, growing sombre when he mentioned the dead girls, but his happiness that he was behind bars and could never hurt anyone again.

Every word tore at Yondu as he moved ahead, to see Peter sitting there with the metal cup in his hand, and the adamantium drill, expertly engraving the words on the metal surface, "This has to do it, this had to make him like me". He said at the camera, too focused on his work to look into it, "He's now drinking Terran coffee, and giving me more stuff to do, ok he works me like a dog, and he's a bit of an asshole".

Peter stopped suddenly, taking a moment to scratch the back of his neck and grinned to himself. "Oh I'm going to put that on the inner casing, he'll love that. Can't get too sappy, after all". Yondu watched Peter hard at work and turned off the pad as the realisation hit suddenly.

Yondu Udonta, out of a habit he was developing, the same way Peter constantly scratched his neck, run his hand over his face. Oh shit, he thought to himself. Oh, shit…why hadn't he seen it?

With the room suddenly feeling claustrophobic, and the scent of Peter Jason Quill suddenly seemed saturated in every surface, Yondu got up quickly and left the room, he needed to speak to Kraglin, and even though he knew the Zatoan, the beer Peter had made for him wouldn't last forever, but right now he needed one, as one more day ticked down of Peter's life.

Ok, next chapter. Some hard decisions need to be made, but making them will change everything?


	5. Chapter 5

Whilst this was going on, Peter was still sleeping on, his massage being completed as Kraglin, Horuz and Alezduran were playing cards. Horus was originally tempted to just leave, when he saw them all come in with the comatose boy in Kraglin's arms, but the lure of Units proved too much, and he with seated with the trio shuffling the deck.

Kraglin having got up for the beers had passed the boy to the hybrid and had pretty much made it clear it was where he was going to stay for a while as the Xandarians drunk the beer and tried to pretend that the Kree-Xandarian hybrid of the ship wasn't holding the dead teenager.

Alezduran however wasn't having any of it, and constantly held his cards next to the boy, asking his opinion, telling him if her should bet or not, something that Kraglin ignored, but pissed off Horuz to the extreme.

"So Peter what do you think? All in or just fold?" With the constant silence from the boy, Alezduran just shrugged. "Ok all in, If I win, we go halves…ok?" With more silence, the rest of the crew threw in their cards and a minute later Alezduran was holding his new pile of units, with a pissed off Horuz as the hybrid just smirked. "Gods Peter, you're a real good luck charm". He stated as Horuz, second mate on the ship and who never stopped referring to Peter as "Cargo", couldn't hide his contempt at the situation.

"So when is the Captain putting him down again". Horuz said briskly, as both Kraglin and Alezduran couldn't bother to hide their own disgust.

"That's not your call to make, Horuz its's the Captains". Warned Kraglin deliberately keeping his voice low, even though he knew the second mate was just voicing everything the other Ravagers were saying behind closed doors.

Well, he better do it soon, it looks sodding unnatural him carting him around like a piece of meat", stated Horuz in a tone that was designed to piss off everyone in the vicinity,

"Just shut up about it, none of us need to hear that, and Yondu knows what he's doing so just stop your bitching". Interjected Alezduran which on some level impressed Kraglin since apart from Peter the hybrid was the youngest member of the crew and still denied wearing the red.

The air suddenly grew tense, as subconsciously Alezduran still holding the teen in the crook of his shoulder moved back, as Kraglin and Horuz just glared at each other.

"Why do you give a shit anyway, you've never cared for the kid". Stated Kraglin, almost willing Horuz to go too far.

"Because that little bastard undermines the Captain, what's he going to do next…take him on raids?"

"Well if he did, he'll do a better job at it than you ever did you lazy bastard". The first mate interjected truthfully, which managed to hit a nerve with Horuz.

The second mate was a position given because of hierarchy, and the simple fact that Horuz, dipshit that he was were on better terms with the crew than the Captain and First Mate who actually run the ship like it was one and took no bullshit.

Hell even Ravagers needed a common touch and that's where Horuz came in, but this…now he was just being a straight up bastard, which Kraglin couldn't abide and was happy to tear the table apart to get to the stocky shit.

However this was the moment that Yondu strode in, acting like he owned the place, since he actually did, and everyone tried to get the tension to disperse, hoping that Yondu didn't pick up on it…and failing miserably.

"So would any of you like to tell me what the fuck is going on?" He addressed the trio who just looked at each other, and got no answer in reply, even though he was half tempted to send his yaka arrow on a one way tour, as surmising the situation turned to Horuz. "

You, I don't want to hear another word about this, at all. Any opinions just keep them to yourself, you tubby shit". Horuz opened his mouth and shut it again realising he had nothing to say that anyone would be interested in hearing as he left the room whilst no doubt relived he got to live for one more day, as Yondu turned to Alezduran, "Take Peter to the med bay for a bit, double check his vitals and make sure he's hydrated…well come on you're a field medic aren't you?"

The snap tone caused the hybrid, to pretty much leg it from the room clutching Peter tightly after pocketing his units, leaving the Captain and Second Mate all alone.

"Whatever Horuz was saying, I don't really give a shit". He told Kraglin as he went placed the code in on his private fridge…he often brought better food that the rest and cooked it in private and grabbed two beers.

Yondu almost grabbed the Zatoan, but stopped himself knowing that it wouldn't last forever, one he passed to Kraglin realising how much like déjà vue this felt like. Just like when he was eight and Peter was recovering from being beaten almost to death, something Kraglin understood and just let the Captain tell him what he had found, about the teens private diary and his desperation he must have felt.

"And he was doing it for me, all for my benefit…so I would do shit with him, and make him feel like a kid again".

Kraglin years ago had surmised this anyway but let Yondu finished before suddenly interjecting. "So what are you gonna do about it, kids still dead, no coming back from that".

The words, struck Yondu, hell Kraglin was right, Peter was dead and there was nothing that could be done about it, as something else rung in Yondu's head the private conversation he had had with the boy whilst he was recovering when he was eight. The promise that the boy could come to him if he needed him…and he never did, even after all the years he almost never had, the thought made Yondu feel worse, as he drained his beer and cracked open another.

"Look Yondu, you feel like shit, we all do, you kept him, and decided to train him, and he died…he lived longer that most of us would have thought. But who are you really keeping him alive for Yondu…for his sake or yours? Because it's three days to go until the months up, and I know you, you're a stubborn bastard, who...I dunno believe in miracles or some shit like that…but it's been almost a month, and look at him. He's dead, and watching you cart him around like that this. Shit...maybe Horuz was right; it's just disturbing to watch.

"Fuck you Kraglin". Yondu almost yelled, wishing he could be bothered to listen, yet he still hadn't stopped his First Mate and his infernal word vomiting.

"Yeah I know, I'm an asshole…and I'm not the only one in the room, Yondu". Stated Kraglin in a cold voice, and just left the room, leaving the Captain to digest what he knew and what Kraglin had told him as he choose to retire, and decided to get some coffee, since the last thing he needed was to drop the teenager as he was carrying him. With this in mind he reached into the overhead cupboard and pulled out a metal cup, and stopped as his hand caressed the one he was holding.

It would have to be that one, of all the times and the chances it would have to be that one, in the aftermath of the death of the boy and the reality of what he had had to deal with.

"Universe's Greatest Ravager", before seeing the inner comment "I'm joking, you're an asshole". He read out loud feeling more like a bastard with each word, god how typical, how sodding typical. If it wasn't the crew, it was like Peter had somehow reached in and made his feeling clear to Yondu, or perhaps it was just the beer and his screwed up psyche!

"Damn you Peter" he uttered more to himself, as he placed the cup back on the cupboards, the mere thought sobering him up in an instant, as he left the Mess to get back to the teenager, who was just lying there as Alezduran checked and double checked his vital, in these moments. Alezduran took a second to really look at the Terran, he had joined the crew shortly after Peter had, and had never even envisioned that this would be the teens eventually fate, and from the bio reading still reading nothing that this was his fate.

"I'm sorry Peter, what more can I say…you know I really wanted to take you back to my home planet, to meet my sisters, my mum would have adopted you on the spot". The hybrid smiled, at the thought. "You should have had a normal life, doing shit that normal kids do…not this. Never this". Unbeknownst to Alezduran, this was the moment Yondu walked into the room, and caught the tail end of the conversation, and couldn't help but glare at the hybrid, who swiftly stammered that Peter's vitals hadn't changed and practically fled out of the room, leaving the boy and Yondu all alone yet again.

As Yondu approached the sleeping boy, he knew that this had been a night or revelations , but also in the back of his mind knew what he needed to do, but that was a few days away, he could wait, at least he owed the boy that, as he picked him up and took him to his quarters, but as expected spent the night just looking at Peter, and seeing his desperate face all over again, coming to the conclusion that he was the "asshole" as the boy had playfully proclaimed.

The next morning, the rest of the Hanger crew weren't surprised to see their Captain entering the Bay, carting round the boy, who was nesting in the crook of his shoulder, but they were surprised at the order, as in minutes his white M-Ship was peppered and ready, and adjusting the boy in his lap, gave the order for the hanger bay to be opened, as the sight of the stars greeted them, leaving the Eclector far behind.

Yondu often did this, just got away from his crew, sometimes the shit that went on got to him and just a few hours travelling admits the star always had a way of calming him down, and getting him away from the drama his crew brought him as he travelled more light years.

"Ok, kid, I promised you a flying lesson, so here we go"

Yondu sat there and told the boy everything, how the control panels next to the chair worked, what they summoned, the secure line back to the Eclector, and the auto pilot of he was in distress, the life pod and small shuttle bay, of which was firmly attached to his own M-Ship, standing up, he went other to the other panels to show the boy however though there were navigation seats, he could do the whole thing himself with ease. Explaining what each and every switch did and the entire process took hours as Yondu made sure that everything was repeated as if saying everything twice could someone work its way into Peter's skull, but still nothing, as Yondu piloted through the stars for a while, just savouring the experience and wishing the boy was up to see this, to be amazed as the stars flew by.

Eventually however it was time to turn around and head back to the organised chaos of the Eclector, as the massive ship reappeared admits the stars and Yondu docked the M-Ship with ease, there he was met by Alezduran and Kraglin, who had recognised the significance of the moment, and wondered what they should do, as Yondu just stepped past them, as they caught a mummer of "Happy fourteenth birthday, Peter"

Ok, next chapter is the final one…and the angst. Oh my god the angst!

Thanks to everyone who's read and supported this…I love you all xxx


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok, oh god this was meant to be the final chapter…but it became longer, and longer and turned into this…and yes really upped the angst in this one…sorry xxx

The final days of Peter Jason Quill, passed as nothing changed from within the boy, even after his flying lesson, one more thing to strike off his list. In the back of his mind Yondu was hoping for something, anything, especially since he had now turned fourteen.

Yondu hadn't made a big deal about Peter's birthday, aside from a small cake and practical gifts, normally clothes that he needed. But he recalled Peter's thirteenth, before all this drama really started, when Peter was still an innocent look out. Since he had read that was the moment a boy became a teenager…which was a big deal apparently.

In the end, he had given him a book he had found in a market from Terra, as he was buying some of his collectables that he lined up on his console. He knew what the crew thought of his hobby, but he was the Captain and didn't care.

The book was called The Giving Tree, which he had flicked through, from what he got it was the story of a sociopathic kid and the tree that gave him shit until it was dead. It was a strange concept for a story, and Peter wasn't a baby. But he recalled him being grateful for the story, from something from Terra to make him remember where he was from.

He also recalled that Peter seemed misty eyes after reading the story and had wondered if he was missing something, unlike the sentimental sod. In the end, he had found the book on the shelf in the boy's room and had read it to him, but still nothing. Proving once and for all that the "The Giving Tree" didn't give a shit!

Yondu was hoping for a miracle, for anything from the boy he just laid there, breathing, his brain still showing no activity, as everyone begun to notice the uneasiness that was beginning to develop amongst the crew.

True Yondu was the Captain, hell he could override his own decision in a heartbeat, keep Peter alive for as long as possible, years in fact. But for once Yondu's word was solid…this would happen, even if he were willing the boy every moment, to make him change his mind, a twitch, a reaction from those fixed eyes…something.

Since this was always going to be the outcome, Yondu had made the time to read up on Terran funeral customs, and from his limited information apparently it was either burial or cremation and he chose the former. The idea of taking Peter onto a planet and setting him on fire seemed too reminiscent of both Zatoan and Xandarian customs and he wasn't sure he could face seeing the boys smouldering flesh.

It was after he had deposited Peter, in his own room for Alezduran to work on that he headed to the Cargo Bay to enquire about a box big enough for the Terran's body. He had thought about taking Peter with him, but even he drew the line as discussing the boy's death in front of him, even he had standards in that respect.

Kraglin's job that day was to log and complete any remainder of the debris, the good stuff had been already sorted but there were some odds and sods that could lead to something valuable, and all the crew were grumbling that none of them had been paid for this mission…if you could call it that. But Yondu was dragging his ass over this one, still trying to figure out how Peter factored into this.

It was only the pair in the cargo bay when mid conversation and the confirmation that they had a lead lined box, that Kraglin came across it, lying absently in a container and how the hell it had got in there was anyone guess, as he pulled the blade out and held it in the air.

"Oh hell", he exclaimed as Yondu came over and pretty much snatched it from his hand. "Shit", he breathed in response, as he held the knife aloft. It was blackened with blood, Peter's blood. But it was his blade, the one he had one when he was eight after his first kill, the sheath was nowhere to be found, but Yondu didn't care.

"So it came back to its owner". The Centurian mused, as Kraglin gave the confirmation that he would find something presentable for Peter, as Yondu turned to go back to the boy, stopping in his own room, to grab something before heading into Peter. Who was unresponsive, as always while Alezduran dug his hands into the boys back, and for once the hybrid was saying nothing, well nothing while Yondu, which was in earshot he was pleased about.

With Alezduran gone, Yondu pulled out a clean rag, and in the presence of the boy begun to clean the blade, thoroughly scrubbing away the boy's blood, all the while just talking to the teenager. "Do you remember when you got this? The night you killed Yarovesky, your first kill? Yeah, I bet you do, really impressive by the way".

The blade now cleaned to a shine, looking just as new, as Yondu placed it into its new sheath, which he had ripped from his own blade, it wasn't new but in better condition than the one he once possessed.

"Only eight years old, and you built a blaster from scratch when you were recovering your eyesight. I don't think I every told you how proud of you I was…I probably didn't". He muttered the latter part more to himself before he cleared his throat. "But don't think I never felt it, don't you dare think I never felt proud of you. Peter".

He said quickly, suddenly embarrassed even if there was no one else around to hear, as out of habit he run his hands over his face. Oh hell, this was actually going to happen, this was it, less that one day to go, and the enormity of this was overwhelming.

That evening, Yondu left Peter alone in his room, curled up on his bed, listening to his music even though the sounds of the Jackson Five hadn't worked at all over the past month, and it was slightly disconcerting to hear the words "I want you back", as he left the boy alone whilst he dined at the Captain's table, part of him was hoping Peter might just give up on the last vestiges of his life and just pass away in his sleep, hell that would be easier. But then again he knew Peter…the wily little shit.

He thought, as he just looked amongst most the crew stuffing their faces and enjoying the teens beer, even if they were unnaturally subdued, he even noticed a few of the looking at the bottle then at each other.

Were they thinking about him? Yondu wondered even if he wouldn't ask. God, the kid, had made them sentimental and they were meant to make him tough…well within reason.

Yondu had a strict rule of never hitting or abusing the boy, until he was old enough to be able to defend himself, and no Ravager ever had, at least he would give them some credit for it.

In the end Yondu went back to Peter's room to find the boy still unmoved, now listing to "Hooked on a feeling", another song he could quote, as he had the option of taking Peter back to his room, but this was Peter's last night alive, he should be in his own space, in the main cell that he had made his own. As Yondu could have said so much to the boy, but mentally he felt done, this was it, this was the moment...as he just sat in a chair and waited.

Yondu had made the vow to not to leave the room and leave the boy alone, but as he was just sitting there, he has heightened senses became aware of the air vent, and the lack of air what was coming through, and for just a moment just sat there contemplating it.

He was meant to be dignified and keep vigil for Peter; it was the right thing to do. But then the simple fact that he was the Captain of the Ravagers, and normally a total invasive bastard overrode it as he stood up, over the boy and lifted the hatch off.

Ah there it was, he had been wondering about that, he thought as he pulled the wrapped gift along with the letter from the late Meredith Quill from the metal, and just sat back down, giving himself the right to feel royally smug.

"You know, I know what this is…I scanned it years ago. Do you want to know?"

Naturally all was silence, as Yondu just chuckled. "No, even you don't want to know, you never have". As he exhaled slowly, "Sticking to a memory of a woman, whose death you can't get over". As he peered down at Peter to give his grand declaration.

"And I figured that out years ago, by the way. Because sometimes you're so sodding transparent. Just like that kid I picked up". And he stopped suddenly, the words striking him. Just like that, oh hell he couldn't do this anymore. Not to Peter, not to himself…but more for Peter, he had to do it…and he had to do it now.

It was a truth universally accepted, that even in Space the days turned exactly how they had too, and the days had reached their limit for Peter Jason Quill, as Yondu who hadn't even slept that night just watched the hours tick, he already knew how he was going to do it, and now he had to do it.

Yondu had already decided to euthanize Peter in his room and that would have been easier in the Med Bay, but it seemed wrong not too. This was Peter's "Fortress of Solitude" as he had once stated when he had one came into the room while the boy was naked from the shower. A quip that just amused Yondu at the time, as he grew more serious

First he after injecting nutrient's into his body, which would dry up anything that may have laid on his stomach, or else God forbid made his shit himself after he died, which was considered undignified by all Ravagers, he begun the task of washing his body down in silence.

There were no more words he could say, as with the boy clean, which was a custom both Terran's and Centaurians shared, he went to the boys cupboard and pulled out his jeans and a soft black t-shirt that was well worn and well loved by the teenager, along with his boots, as Yondu successfully managed to negotiate Peter's body into everything, making him look more like himself, Peter was going to be buried like a Ravager as sitting back, he discreetly summoned Alezduran who showed up in less than two minutes along with Kraglin, as the hybrid discreetly placed the box containing the vial and the needle on the table.

"Do you want us to stay?" Kraglin asked the Captain, knowing what was going to come next, as Yondu just shook his head. Just get everything prepared like I asked...and come back in an hour", He advised the pair, who could only look at Peter sadly before leaving the room together.

They only had simple instructions and he knew neither of them would let him down, as he pulled the chair closer to the boy and grabbed the box.

Lifting the lid there it was the toxin that would shut down his internal organs one by one, in minutes so finally the body matched the brain.

Slowly preparing the syringe so there were no air bubbles, even though it made no difference, hell Yondu could have just injected air to make the boys heart stop but that seemed cruel and unjust.

He slipped it gently into Peter's arms and just waited, as slowly, little by little Peter's body shut down, and his breathing slowed. "This won't hurt Peter; you just have to let it go". Yondu murmured, stroking the boy's forehead with his hand, as Peter's breath got fainter, and fainter until it was just a mere ghost of a whisper, as suddenly Peter's body shuddered as if expelling the last of himself, as small wisps of blue begun to emerge, like smoke coiling in the air from his nose and mouth.

It only lasted no more than ten seconds before it dissipated in the air, but it was enough to catch the ire of Yondu. His father that was his father's side, it had to be…god the bastard was taunting him in death as much as he did in life. He though as he dismissed it as Peter tiny teenage body, expelled everything, and even though he was already dead, seem to lean slightly to his side.

This was it, it was over and Peter was at peace. As deep in the vestiges of his heart, Yondu could feel it shattering once more, in grief and guilt.

To be concluded…honest!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi all, massive apologies for the lateness of this, having laptop issues and had to burrow one from a friend, also was meant to be the last chapter…but isn’t. Yes this is an occupational hazard for me xx

Yondu was alone with Peter for a while, just lost in his thoughts, as he received a discreet summons on the door, to which he finally got to his feet to see both Alezduran and Kraglin who was holding what Yondu asked him to retrieve under his just arm and was standing there, holding the lead lined box between them.

As Yondu stepped back, and cleared a space on the table, careful not to disturb or break any of Peter’s stuff, hell it might have value and he needed to sort it out eventually.  
All three of them, took a moments silence to observe the boy as, Yondu gave to order to lift him, which they instantly obliged and gently before full rigor could set it, Peter was laid in the box as Yondu remembering all that shit about his species and just looked around.

Apparently they took stuff with them in the afterlife, to keep them company whilst they went to the “Sprit in the Sky”, Yondu’s knowledge on that was pretty vague, as his eyes fell on his Walkman and the package from Meredith and even though he had the option of turning the device on, decided against it. Even with a solar patch it wouldn’t function through lead and for some reason the thought of the boy hearing the music as his body decomposed…naaa screw that. 

Placing both by his head noting the coldness radiating from him, he then took the knife now in its new sheath and placed it alongside Peter’s leg, but never touching his skin. He looked too sunken like he was tuning into the marble his body would become and as Alezduran and Kraglin arranged him, before standing back. 

It was a solemn moment, and perhaps they were all saying goodbye or some shit like that, a without a word, Yondu held out for the red coat Kraglin held over his arms, and unfolding the leather begun to arrange it over the teen. He had been denied wearing it in life, due to his age and his inexperience, but in death, he had earned the right to wear the red. As he tucked it around him like a blanket, the small of fresh leather filled the room as Yondu stepped back admiring his handiwork. 

He looked like a Ravager now, the emblem shining in the surface of the leather, and it suddenly granted Yondu an image of the boy, when he was older, when it would fit him, standing cocky and confident with that stupid smile of his, as he immediately banished the thought. Peter was dead, he would never be that person, and it was too late for “What if’s”  
“Close it” he ordered, as immediately the Xandarian begun to prepare the lid, as Kraglin stopped suddenly.

“Do you want to say something?” Kraglin asked, his public concern rare, but if felt like he needed it to fill the silence. 

“Yeah, Don’t be dead”, muttered Yondu more sarcastic then he would have wished but why change a habit of a lifetime, as the two Xandarian's just looked at each other, and if they had words to say, they weren’t meant for anyone else, as the lid was placed over Peter and he was gone from view. Almost immediately the stem bolts bit down, making it impossible to open without some force, and Kraglin stood back, stating. “I’ve prepared the small aft torpedo bay, there’s a tube we can shoot him through”, as Yondu went to pick up the coffin…which felt like it weighed a ton. 

“Fine let’s do this”, Yondu tried to let himself take on an air of indifference, as with Alezduran's assistance, Yondu managed to wrestle the coffin in his arms, he had heard that people held it together, but his culture was different, it was the elder of the family that prepared the dead. He had no family but he was the Captain, let this be a part of the traditions he could implement, even if the coffin was so sodding heavy he almost dropped it on the deck. 

Stepping out of the room, he looked up suddenly, to see the hall full of Ravagers, standing either side of the wall, making a path, most looked indifferent but some like the Hanger crews just had their head down in a form of respect for their fallen comrade.

However Yondu didn’t really forces on any of them as he stepped past them to the aft torpedo where a table had been set up, the weight of the lead was causing Yondu’s hand to shake in an undignified fashion, as he finally placed the coffin down and stood back. Ok, now what was he meant to do? As Kraglin must have seen his unease and quickly came to the rescue as the crew just stood there. 

“You have to leave him for a few hours, to lie in state or something, so the crew can say goodbye to him in privacy” he supplied as Yondu just stared for a second, conscious of how empty his arms felt, as Kraglin could only add. “It’s a Terran thing”. 

“Fine, tell the crew to do whatever and everyone report back in ten hours”. He finally said, and with a flick of his wrist, he summoned Alezduran to follow him, which Kraglin followed a minute later clearly after imparting his knowledge to the rest of the crew. 

The Kree-Xandarian hybrid, was just standing there outside Yondu’s quarters which were a scared space few would ever enter, as the Captain emerged from the room, and thrust the red coat of the Ravagers into Alezduran’s hand. 

“Put this on, you’ve earned this. So congratulations, you’re officially in the red”. Yondu said bluntly, before turning away, and if he could slam the door to get away from all this drama, leaving the hybrid just standing there, as Kraglin caught up with him, as Alezduran was just staring at the coat, almost in bewilderment.

“He just gave this to me”. Stated the hybrid, trying to process everything, admits the scent of new leather. “Do you mean…”  
“Yeah, he was going to wait until Peter was ready…it doesn’t matter, just put it on”. He ordered as the hybrid put it on smoother trying to become accustomed to the perfect fit.  
“So when did he…”

His question was answered, by Yondu abruptly yanking the door open. “Three years ago, you assholes…now piss off the pair of you”. The yaka arrow quivered in his belt, as both Xandarian’s, beat a hasty retreat. Until the moment Yondu left his quarters Kraglin was in charge, which meant a shitload to sort out, as Alezduran trailed behind. 

“This is so fucked up”, the hybrid whispered more to himself, his new coat creaking with newness, which would take a while to lose.

“Yeah, well no parent should bury a child should they?” Kraglin muttered back, as they both left to sort the shit out relating to the small service. 

Alone in his quarters, Yondu tore his top that he been wearing for too long, and flopped on the bed only in his trousers, he needed to shower, but couldn’t be bothered. All he knew was that he was exhausted, which was something he would deny to anyone. He had killed so many people over the years, he had lost count. Life was fleeting to a Ravager, yet he had put Peter down like a dog…and that bothered him. 

He knew he had a myriad of shit to sort out, the boy’s room for one, perhaps give it to a crew member or turn it back into the main cell. But the mere thought of it, made him feel like crap. At least the boy was with his mother, something that didn’t fill him with glee, all he knew was that he needed to sleep, but all thought were on the teenage boy, as Yondu begun to raise that the months he had been tending to Peter in these four walls had somehow left an indelible print on very surface and the room was saturated with his scent, as Yondu couldn’t help but breath it in.

He knew he needed to rest, but as he was lying there curiosity overrode him and grabbing his pad he accessed the ships computers, namely the torpedo bay. He knew that some of the crew Peter were close too, but was momently surprised to see Jamsean, unofficially the head of the Hanger crews, and perhaps one of the hardest bastards in the known galaxy. Looking almost tearful as the scarred tattooed Ravager paid his respects and wished Peter a “Good journey”, a standard Xandarian funeral farewell, as he left to room to be replaced a minute later by Horuz!  
Yondu found himself sitting up slightly, Horus, as far back as he could remember the second mate had hated the sight of Peter, but as he heard the words unfold could never imagined this, as the gruff voice came out over the speakers.

“Look I know I called you cargo and shit, but…you know. You were a good kid…and you never deserved this shit you know. So you know… bye” As he left the room the room Yondu was amazed the words contain more emotion that Horuz had ever shown since Peter was eight, and he almost wished Peter was alive to witness it, as he found sleep finally encroaching.  
Placing down the pad, he thought over Horuz emptions, followed by the rest of the crew all pretty much saying the same thing. The teen in death really reducing them to a bunch of saps, and concluded he could do something about that later. 

Bastard kid, he thought to himself as finally he managed to get some shut eye…which was interrupted several hours later by a knock on the door. 

“Fuck”, Yondu gritted his teeth, as he rose from the bed, to find Kraglin at the door, who since he knew Yondu from the early days didn’t put up with his bullshit, which was one for the reasons why he was first mate

“Everything is done, so you better get your shit together…the crews waiting”. He said quickly, giving the impression he would stand outside the door until Yondu was.  
“Whatever”, he said abruptly as he run his hands over his headpiece and turned his attention to getting ready. 

Showering quickly, one of the perks of being bald, he pulled out his neatest top and trousers, and his cleanest Ravager coat, one he normally used for moments like this. Like all good Ravagers he had a selection, but this was one of the best, the leather more shiny that hat he normally wore. If Kraglin noticed, well he didn’t show it as the pair stepped to the torpedo bay. 

There with the coffin on the platform were the Ravager's all of them, standing shoulder to shoulder, the fact they had downed tools for this touched Yondu for a moment. And with Kraglin, Horuz and Alezduran nearby, and with a swish of his coat Yondu began to assert his authority.  
Approaching the crowd, he had quickly read up on Terrans and this was something most species had in common as he cleared his throat. 

“We’re all here because we lost one of us…but before we put his body to the stars, I know that all of you have said something to him…whatever you said, well whatever”. As he took a breath before continuing. 

“Peter was a good kid, he was a hard worker and well-liked by the crew. He was a blaster builder, a beer maker and this place will be quieter without him…since we never have to hear that shitty Terran music every again”. The final part caused some smiles to break out of the faces of the Ravager’s, hell they knew all the songs too. 

“But Peter always wanted to prove himself, to prove he was worthy of the red”, a comment he subconsciously threw in the path of Alezduran, who for a second looked uncomfortable. “Something he proved years ago” Yondu continued, as he thought of something else to say.

“So at fourteen year old, this was a death he never deserved, but he came to us as “cargo” but he died like a Ravager…and we can’t fault him for that, so we…”.  
Yondu broke off, as his internal sense picked up on it first, the faint scratching noise followed by Kraglin, Alezduran and the rest. 

“Did you hear tha…?” But Kraglin never finished his statement, no one did as from the coffin as with a low crack, the fist which was drenched in red blood broke though the surface. 

To be concluded…I promise next chapter will be the last one.  
xxx


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, all well meant to be the final chapter…and not the final chapter. I know right, this happens all the time. But here we go, oh and some notes at the end, xx

What happened next it, was later said passed into Ravager lore, as everyone was silence as the hand seemed to stay in the air, admits the glow of the gold light that was beginning to emerge. It was the Captain of the Ravagers was the first to recover from his initial shock, as he quickly turned to the crew. 

“Everyone out now…just get the fuck out”, but they were slow to move, transfixed by this scene, as Yondu and Kraglin moved closer to the box and the hand sticking out of it, the fresh blood running down the surface. 

“Peter”, Yondu uttered as at the sound of his name, the glow begun to get brighter as it the sun itself was hidden in the box and was beginning to rise, as there was a shuffle of some movement as the pulsating light got stronger. 

Some of the Ravagers had made their way to leave, but most didn’t as the light got stronger, as from it, was the sight of movement, moving through the light as if he was moving through water, which was the only way they could describe it.

Before the light begun to drop, revealing Peter Jason Quill sitting up in his coffin, his eyes closed, but his skin shining with the gold light as if it had penetrated his skin.

Yondu had seen the same thing, almost a year earlier when he was abducted, as he got closer. Shit, if he was channelling his father's abilities, he could rip the ship apart, as they tried to get closer but felt themselves being held back by something.

As the light, as if it was expressing its last bit of energy into the universe, leaving only the teenager sitting there, his face like ash as rigor had settled in as suddenly Peter’s eyes burst open

They blazed with a fury of light, emanating from somewhere within him, bright, aggressive as if the universe as within him. Ravagers nearer to him felt blinded for a second, whilst the rest felt the pulsating light run through them like a heat wave as Yondu stepped closer, unable to hide his concern and the fact he was fucking freaked out by all this. 

“Quill”, as he took a step. “Peter”, 

At the sound of his name, a reaction seemed to shudder through the boy, as almost as it started, the pulsating light erupted all over the room, so everyone had to shut their eyes from the sheer pain. As with a shudder, it was gone, and Peter was leaning over the coffin, the rest of his body in the box and the blood still trailing on the floor. 

Yondu took a step as the sound of the boy’s gasps grew more laboured, as the teenager struggled to life his head. After a month of silence, a month of being dead he was struggling to say something, as his brain managed to find the words and managed to drag it out of a mouth unused for a month.

Peter totally exhausted by the effort just fixed his eyes on Yondu and cracked out. “You bastards”.

That was it, the mere effort of the two words caused Peter to faint, as Yondu went over and grabbed his sweat encrusted body, and that still laboured breath, but it was real, and Peter was still alive. The body felt too hot; Yondu didn’t know if it was …whatever the hell that was, and what the hell was that? Screw it, he could ponder that later, as he placed his hand on the boy’s next. “Peter…Quill”.

The next words were faint, laboured, but slightly coherent, as everyone heard the faint whisper spelling out “Yondu”.

Yondu knew he could have been more delicate with the teen. But it was overridden by the sudden urgency to get him to the Med Bay. Pete had come back to life, but how? 

As he manoeuvred the sticky Terran in his arms, whilst the unconscious Peter just seemed to twist in protest, leaving his new Ravager coat and all his shit in the coffin. He stepped back and the crew in the vicinity immediately parted, as he heard the murmurs all wondering what the fuck had just happened? 

A question Yondu needed an answer to as well, as he immediately rushed the boy to the Med Bay followed by Alezduren and Kraglin, since the hybrid was pretty much the only real expert they now had on Terran physiology, and no one would deny that.

As in the bay, Yondu gently laid the teenager on the bed where he seemed to spend too much time on, as Peter’s heads jerked back from the sudden movement. 

Immediately and courtesy of some excellent Xandarain technology they had stolen, Peter’s vitals which had been dormant for so long burst into life, as everyone apart from Yondu took a step back as the scanners displayed the results.

Whilst needles were inserted to try to hydrate and oxygenate him, as a familiar mask was placed over his nose and mouth, as everyone tried to make sense of the readouts, which was confirmed ten minutes later after reading and re-reading the charts to try and make sense of all this. 

“This is impossible”, breathed Alezduren and Yondu could only silently agree as they saw the image of the boy’s brain, beginning to spring back to life, as the electrical impulses filtered through his brain, as Kraglin, no stranger to this brought up the image following the boys abduction, when Yondu had insisted that he needed a check up and compared the results. 

One was a healthy firing brain, with lines and veins providing the information the body needed to function, but the others was a lot smaller like something was beginning to grow within Peter’s brain

To Yondu, the human mind looked like a map of the universe but this was like the universe was new before it completed his journey, in between the pink matter that made up Peter’s existence.

It’s coming back to life”, confirmed Yondu unable to take his eyes off the readout. 

“Yeah, but how”. Chimed in Alezduren, “It’s been a month, and you euthanized him.” 

“The medication, he’s been on, the talking to him…what was in the toxin you gave him?” Kraglin said quickly very aware of Peter’s own hybrid nature and not wanting to admit it. 

“Some toxins, poisons…stuff we have in here”. As the Kree-Xandarian shook his head, and went to check everything, as Peter’s eyes seemed to twitch, at the sound of the raised voices, the life beginning to filter through his body, which had been stagnant for so long.

Taking the opportunity, Yondu stepped over to the teen and lifted his eyes, and almost smirked, ah there it was, after a month of nothing, the boys green eyes seemed to dilate suddenly, even if the face remained motionless, as he noticed his forehead was clammy and realised that his hands were still bloody from scratching his way out of lead.

Had that happened, had that really happened? He thought as he stood back and gave the motion for Alezduren to sort him out, and watched as the boys clothes were removed from his pale skin, and a sheet was placed over him from the waist down which caused more twitches from the teenager who had caused all this.

“So when will he wake up”. Queried Yondu, noting this was the question to ask, as Alezduren for a moment looked uncomfortable, almost the other Medics, so he was the only one to speak. 

“I don’t know…but his brain seems to be reconnecting, and he’s getting stronger, and there is the coming back to…”

“Yeah, I know you dumb shit, just give me an answer”. 

“We don’t know it’s impossible to know but because of what’s been in his system and appears to be coming out of it”, quickly explaining that the slight temperature was his body rejecting the poison that Yondu had injected into him, and appeared to be winning. 

“But I don’t want to give him anything apart from nutrients to keep him hydrated”. His body's been through too much, and we can’t risk a reaction”. He finished as Yondu grunted his approval at the situation, and just looked down at the boy, his body moving slightly, like a newborn trying to understand the world around him, as Yondu heard Alezduren about to start a sentence, and then hesitated. 

“There is one more thing”, 

Even though Alezduren was even though Yondu would never admit it to him or anyone, a damn fine Ravager who had earned the red coat he was wearing years before, the fact he was holding back, managed to annoy both Captain and First Mate, who just rolled his eyes. 

“Oh stop being a whiny bitch, and tell us” demanded Kraglin, as the hybrid wet his lips. 

“There is a possibility, which if he wakes up he won’t be Peter.” 

Yondu narrowed his crimson eyes, as the hybrid hastily spoke further.

“His brain is reconnecting, but his memories, his motor skills…what he is, could be gone”. Yondu digested the words and found himself scoffing. 

How typical, how sodding typical, after all this shit and now this, gods he knew keeping the boy would bring drama, but this, as he just exhaled, as a thought occurred to him. “Well, he spoke didn’t he? We all heard that” as Alezduren just shrugged, his new leather creaking. 

“I can’t explain that, but that’s one of the outcomes…I just wanted you to be prepared for the worst”. 

“The boy just came back from the dead, Alezduren. I think we know the worst”. Reminded Kraglin, as all the hybrid could do was shake his head 

“There is also the whole, what the hell just happened and how he…”

“Don’t worry about that, who gives a shit about that. I don’t care how that happened…are we clear”. 

Yondu had been through too much to explain, to Alezduren of all people, what Peter also was, even if Alezduren had more to say to Yondu’s annoyance. 

“You know, I do know a few Healers. We can take him to one…” 

“Just shut the hell up about that, he's staying where we, well especially you can keep an eye on him…now get the hell out of my sight, and that goes for the rest of you”

With that, since Alezduren looked slightly stung at Yondu’s harsh words, as they ass made their way to leave, as Yondu and Kraglin all alone, just surveyed the scene, and the boy, still moving slightly in his delirium. 

“Do you believe all that”, asked Kraglin as Yondu pulled up a chair, as lifted the boy’s hands, in all the drama no one had noticed, or it wasn’t important enough at the time, that Peter’s fingers were broken, and his fingers nails had been ripped out in his attempt to fight his way out. Yondu gently lifted the hands, bloody and now blackened and run his callused blue one over them. How long was he scratching for help? Yondu wondered internally, as out loud could only say.

“It’s bollocks; it had to be. The kid didn’t just face death; he kicked it in the nads and told it to fuck off. He doesn’t know Peter like I do”, a sentiment he hadn’t exactly shared over the past few days, as he pulled out some sterile sheets and wiped it down the boys hands, painfully aware of the broken bones.

While Kraglin took the other side, throwing a bandage stripe to Yondu as the pair cleaned and re-set Peter’s hands in silence, as the air was disturbed by Horuz of all people. 

Yondu never looked up as the tubby second mate only came in to hand the Walkman to Kraglin along with the gift from his mother, which Yondu placed in his pocket for safekeeping, since there were thieves everywhere, after all.

Horuz never said a word and just looked at the teenager before walking out, quickly almost embarrassed which no one questioned since Yondu knew of Horuz confession. Which he would never tell anyone and the second mate would deny it in a heartbeat as he thought back on Alezduren’s words, and noted his displeasure to Peter, after Kraglin has left to speak to the curious crew.

“A sodding Healer, screw that…remember that one when you were sick, the one on Knowhere? Raziel, I think her name was. God, she’d love it if I had to take you back”, as he found himself growing more sombre. 

“It’s all bollocks you know, what he’s saying. You’re in there; you spoke to me. Hell, even called me a “bastard”, which is one up from “asshole” by the way”. As he leaned in closer, and just took a moment to look down at the boy, who seemed to be responsive to his words, as looking over the past month and couldn’t resist the smirk.

“Only you could do something like this, only you could come back from death like that.” As the smirk faded “And I don’t know how that happened, but I don’t care, all I care is that you’re back, and if you need some work. Well, I had to do it when you were eight. I’ll do it all again if I have too”.

Yondu realized his voice had become too sentimental and snapped out of it. “Which is fantastic, because please remember I do have a ship to run, ya little shit” which caused Peter to react with a twitch, as Yondu continued.

“But I won’t fault ya for it, and if you are coming into your abilities, then I’ll tell you everything. If you don’t, then Mama Quill was stronger that ya think!” As he took Peter’s hand in his own, aware of how clammy it felt, “So whatever’s in your head kid trying to drag you back, just fight it. Because you’re still in there”. 

Yondu looked down suddenly as Peters bandaged fingers suddenly curled around his own blue calloused hand, even though apart from the small movement of his body, there was no other response. But Yondu couldn’t stop the grin, it was enough…right now it was enough. 

However, Yondu never realized how serendipitous his words were, as deep within the mind of Peter Jason Quill, a Battle was raging

To be concluded, I mean it this time. XXX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, this pains me to sat this, but there will be an update in about three weeks, alas stresses and real life are getting in the way of fanfiction (damn you real life), so I hope you stick with this, and I hope you don’t hate me for the wait xxx


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok, here we go, chapter 9…and, not the final chapter. The problem was when I was writing this, the words just came together, and I had no idea at how to conclude it…so I just started typing, and my subconscious came up with this…I hope you like it, and thanks to everyone for the likes, follows and review xx

He didn't know where he was anymore, he didn't know where it started, all he remembered was the coldness, and the void, it seeped around him like it was made of glass, yes he could move his arms and legs. He thought he was drowning, but his lungs never ceased, he could still breath.

He first awoke to nothing, just muffled voices that slowly seemed to get stronger, voices that were familiar, but whose names his memory caught then slipped away, faces too, strong blue callused hands stroking his face, a name that came and faded, before the lights grew dark again.

His memory returned in drabs, Peter, his name was Peter; he was from Terra…where was that? His fragile mind hung onto the name. Peter, Peter, Peter. Before everything grew dark again.

This time he was falling, though the darkness, the world around him growing colder, but something around him, warmth, he was warm, someone was saying his name. It was getting louder, and then the world faded again.

Over and over again, the voice getting stronger, he tried opening his eyes, they were called eyes, the world around him so dark he wasn't sure if he was asleep of awake, he didn't know any more.

Falling spinning, feeling pain return, blinding pain in his arms, his back hurt, it always hurt, feeling cocooned by something, feeling sad. The feeling faded. He was alone and falling.

Towards something, towards nothing like he was being engulfed by the coldness as the voice got stronger, familiar, rough, yet safe, tenderness, memories and emotions.

He knew its name as he fell further, and further into the darkness, the pain in his neck getting stronger, as he heard more voices, more insistence and tenderness and warmth, until it engulfed him.

The thought shattered his mind into a million pieces, but he was too far gone to notice as everything collapsed.

Light again; pulsating into him, feeling his body in pain, pain, he knew pain. He knew the voice breaking through the darkness, knew its name…then nothing once more.

The voice came through like droplets of rain, filtering into his mind, the voice, he knew nothing anymore and he didn't know who he was…who was he?

The voices growing stronger, feeling his body get lighter once more, falling towards something, towards the oblivion as the coldness engulfed him.

"Don't be dead."

Three words that hung in his mind. Dead, he was dead...

He Was Dead

The feeling of panic, feeling trapped mentally clawing for air, for life, his mind fighting, for something, a struggle, trapped…he was trapped.

Resistance gave way to the light within him, engulfing him, a spark of recognition, faces he knew, red eyes, narrowed in concern then…the darkness.

Words engulfed him once more, as the light got brighter, and the world around him solidified, eyes that may have been opened or closed, felt like he was full of light, around him, within him.

The voice became clear and what felt like hands were grabbing his body, holding him tight. He would have protested if he remembered how to.

"Wake up boy".

The words like ice penetrating his mind, so familiar, as the world around him solidified, so he felt like he was standing, perhaps he was, as he forced his eyes open, and let his brain understand the sight.

He was staring into a white void, with nothing around him, sterile and clean, in contrast to his Ravager life…yes, he was a Ravager. Everything felt so strange as in front of him was…

Even though Peter's mind was barely holding on to all rational thinking, even though his mind was screwed, there was no mistaking this. The image burned into his psyche even with the drugs that had been pumped into his body.

Peter couldn't speak, that part still non-functioning, as he just stared, this time it was different, the first time he had been in some dark place, and now he was in this place of pure light.

As he found the strength to look down at his body. It was his, arms, and legs, he wasn't sure what he was wearing, but he didn't care.

"I said, wake up". He heard someone say, someone familiar whilst the man got to his feet

One second the man was several feet away, and then in a blink of an eye he was in front of him, his cold deep blue eyes seemed to look into the remains of Peter's soul, as somehow Peter found his words that came out like a whisper.

"Who are you?"

Words he may have said a year ago, as the smile crossed the man's lips but never reached his eyes.

"The question is…who are you?"

The word were strange; he sounded just like before like he was from Terra, but not America…England perhaps, or perhaps that was just his translator working…if it was working as silence filled the void, as the man stepped back slightly so Peter's eyes could take in what he was seeing.

There he was, standing tall, with his clothing looking like some suit of armour a combination of black and green, the same colour as his eyes that were deep and dark. The long hair was the same, moving as if there was an impossible wind that was giving it life.

Yet, it was the eyes that chilled Peter the most, they were blue, and the man didn't even look that old, but the look in this seemed to betray his true age, as he carried the age of the universe within him.

All Peter could do in response was be silent, as something crept down his spine, maybe it was fear, perhaps he was too fearful to notice.

"I said, who are you?"

Those words, as the man stepped forward once more, and seemed to sashay as if he was full of cockiness and confidence, as Peter tried to find the answers, but failed as the man filled in the gaps.

"You're the child of no world, the child of no one who wishes to claim you…standing at the edge between two worlds but belonging to no one".

The words were hypnotic, and Peter felt himself swayed by them, even if he didn't understand them, as his brain managed to find the only thing he had.

"People care about me", it was a futile whisper but it was the only thing he had, as the man stepped through him, suddenly, leaving Peter with a feeling of pins and needles throughout his body that seemed to be returning to itself, as he managed to turn around.

"But at what cost, Peter Jason Quill? Son of Meredith and son of no one".

All around him, images flashed on the walls, revealing a life Peter didn't know, of a boy he recognised as himself, and the figure tending for him, cleaning him, talking to him, as he reached his hand out, and his hand went through it like it was an illusion.

"Is this real?" he asked more to himself, seeing the acts of kindness and consideration, as Yondu Udonta held him close to his chest

"As real as you want it to be, a man willing a child to live, a child undeserving of love and family", he stated with a sneer, as Peter felt tears pinprick at the back of his eyes, struggling to come to a conclusion.

"But he hates me", memories were returning to Peter at the sight of this tenderness, of the ship, of the Elector, and the man who was tending to him, treating him like a…"

Whilst the man just chuckled, as if he was reading his mind, which he probably was.

"You claim this man as your father, but do you think he wants a son, a son like you…a son as useless as you?"

The word stuck Perter in the chest, as he became aware of his heart beating stronger.

"I'm not useless, I'm not useless." He repeated more to himself, as the figure stepped forward once more, perhaps in a bid to intimidate.

"The same lie you tell yourself daily, and never convince yourself".

Harsh words, that made Peter reel, as deep in the recesses of his troubled mind, he felt himself agreeing, and he hated himself for it, as the man just smirked.

"A child standing on the edge of his life and his choices, but not knowing where to fall". As Peter just blinked, what the hell was he talking about?

"Who are you?" He finally managed to get out.

"I'm the face you see in the mirror each morning, and the part you deny yourself".

Riddles and questions, who was this man. As Peter's eyes fell to the images to Yondu caring for him, bruising his hands through his stubbly hair, as Peter reached up and felt his own blond locks, shorter than what it had been, but still his, the bristles familiar in his hands, as realisation dawned.

"This isn't real is it…you're not real?" which only caused a chuckle from the man's sneer-filled mouth.

"Oh I'm real all right, in your mind haunting you each day, and you know it too".

God, that face was starting to annoy Peter, as he felt more memories returning to his mind.

"But that's not the question is it, you can deal with self-loathing, you can deal with feeling useless, a nothing but can you deal with the question?"

The question troubled Peter, as his brain fought with denial, as the man just chuckled again.

"What question?" he managed to stammer, as the smirk widened, and in an instant the man's face was closer to Peter's own, so close he could feel his breath that was icy.

"Who is your father?"

Those four words, those four damning words, as Peter just staggered, his mind frantically trying to find an answer, as his eyes darted to more images of Yondu caring for him, carrying him around the ship in the crook of his shoulder, but the only thing he could find were the words.

"I don't know".

Upon hearing his response the man, just shook his head and Peter knew his deception had showed, as the figures twisted smile opened his mouth once more.

"You made your choice a long time ago, and as such you are useless to me, the countdown had begun, and you fall towards it…with only one outcome, of a destiny that cannot be undone

"What can't", as the fear in Peter's chest was giving way to downright terror, as the man's armoured arms, stretched out suddenly and grabbed him on the back of the head, his cold fingers crushing the back of his neck.

"Death"

His tone was cold and menacing, as Peter gasped for air, feeling the back of his neck; grow hot as if he was being branded in the back of his head.

"No", the teen managed to gasp, as with the whiteness of his teeth and his blue eyes blazing the man practically spat in his face, as Peter's eyes widened though the coldness that was engulfing his mind he saw new images, flashing through his eyes.

He saw the blade in his hands and the red blood dripping on the floor, of Yondu standing next to him, blood spattered on his red coat, his mouth agape, calling his name, before the images collided and just exploded within his mind, as the man released his hold and stepped back.

"Counting down, until the days, the clock cannot be undone", as he finished with a chuckle "Unless".

Peter just blinked, trying to make his mind clear, as he could only stare at the man, his breath coming out in gasps.

"I won't kill him, I can't kill him". Peter whispered more to himself, trying to make sense of everything, as the man could only smirk, with that twisted glint in his eye.

"You have no choice, in the matter boy…but there is one thing you can do".

Hesitation was on Peter's mind, as he struggled to find the words. "What's that?"

The man's face just grew more serious, as he stepped forward as from out of his mouth, came another voice, one harsh and familiar, a million miles away from the British tone.

"Wake up, Peter".

The voice so familiar, as in an instant and a dry laugh the man was gone, leaving Peter alone, his life flashing across the walls, his life, his Ravager life, his family, as he became aware of the ground and air growing cold, shuddering through his body.

It didn't matter that Peter knew it wasn't real, this felt real, this felt very real, as with an urgency, he raced over to the wall of the room, his hand touching the images, now suddenly solidified, as if he was looking at his life through a mirror.

Instantly he balled up his hands, with it being his only option and begun to punch through, his small fists beating on the surface, as he saw the blood beginning to seep down his hands.

It may not have been real, but it caused rivets of red blood to run down his arms, but he kept punching, willing himself to break through. "I'm not dead, I'm not dead", he screamed in his mind, as beneath the surface the small crack begun to appear.

"I'm not dead, I'm not dead", he screamed as he could feel the coldness encroaching on him, "I said, "I'm not dead".

Suddenly the image finally shattered under his force, and the darkness suddenly engulfed him once more, whilst in the Med Bay, Yondu Udonta was disturbed from his vigil by the sound of Peter screaming.

To be concluded, this time I really mean it

Oh and everything does take place in Peter's mind…but does set the tone for what's going to happen much later, but no spoilers xx


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok this is the final chapter, and I did write the final paragraph before I even begun writing the rest and then 4000 words later I had to cut it for length. But hope this was worth the wait, and as always please review. It’s always the kick up my bum that I need.

The Sacrifice of Angels: Final Chapter, part 1

 

Yondu, immediately leapt up, as from Peter’s mouth came the scream, so different from the guttural moans that had emerged from his mouth over the past ten days. 

From the moment his vigil begun he had turned the Elector to Kraglin, Horuz and some extent Alezduran since the hybrid had pretty much taken over Peter’s recovery, even he understood why Yondu hadn’t moved much. 

He wanted to be here when the boy finally opened his eyes since he had gone through so much shit as he watched the brain scans reconnect like a screwed up puzzle until it was almost at his normal brain pattern. 

Yondu wasn’t expecting much when Peter woke up, but he was hoping it wasn’t blind panic, as Peter tried to move his fragile limbs in protest at something, his eyes were trying to focus around him, and then screamed from weeks of lack of use.

“Quickly he placed a hand on Peter’s forehead, in a bid to calm him down, and one that took a few seconds to make an effect as Alezduran alerted through his communicating came into the room, to see Peter still in the med bed, but moving his limbs in a blind panic. 

“Peter…Peter”, They Kree-Xandarian uttered, as the teen on the bed just moaned in response. 

“What’s going on?” Asked Yondu still on his feet, as he watched Peter’s eyes flicker, then winch. 

“He’s having a nightmare, perhaps we should sedate him?” as from the bed, came the panicked whisper. 

“No, more sleep, to dark, too cold”, as Yondu just placed his hand on the boy's head in a bid to calm his down, which begun to work as all the sensors begun to drop back to normal and the boy leaned into his touch, finally some progress. 

“Don’t…let…me…dark”, Peter whispered, slowly, his mangled brain finally putting the words together.

“We won’t, just stay calm, you’re safe”. 

"Safe", the words Peter needed to hear, as he finally managed to prise his eyes open, and immediately jerked from the pain from the blinding light. Something Alezduran understood as he quickly dropped the lights and managed to lift the boys eyes open to place in some eye drops. 

“He hasn't used them in a month”, Alezduran quickly explained, to which Yondu only responded with a grunt, as they watch Peter relax and take a gulp of air. 

“Don’t leave me”, he managed to get out, as the mere act of speaking made him exhausted and sleep claimed him, as he heard in the vestiges of his mind the words of Yondu only saying “We won’t, you’re safe now”. 

As Alezduran could only grin, from what he was saying, it looked like Peter was back, but no one was really sure of how much had returned, as finally Yondu went back to his quarters and after over a week managed a decent night. 

The same however couldn’t be said for Peter as along with Kraglin he ventured into the med bay the next day, to find Peter seemingly trying to hug himself in his sleep, his teeth chattering as if he had been bathed in ice.

Even though the drips had been removed, leaving only though nutrients that were being injected into him, having come to the conclusion it was safer since Peter was beginning to flail his arms around.

Whilst Alezduran and the rest of the medics were trying to keep his body normal, even though his temperature didn’t look anything out of the ordinary, the toxins having worked their way out of his body weeks ago, 

Alezduran was suddenly clueless and was urging Peter to calm down, and failing miserably, which only caused both captain and second mate to roll their eyes at how much like this felt like déjà vu. 

“Can he be moved?” Yondu stated to the hybrid, who could only nod, as Kraglin with a quick word, dismissed all the Medics, including their field medic in training leaving only the three in the room. 

As Yondu carefully picked the boy up in his arms, and took him to the nearest chair, aware of how light he felt and how he needed to do something about that, as Kraglin fetched a blanket to wrap around the boy.

Uncharacteristic perhaps, but even though the Xandarian would never voice it out loud, that he was perhaps the only person in the Galaxy who know what his boss felt for Peter, as the teenager with a sigh settled into Yondu’s chest, and immediately Peter begun to relax. 

For a few minutes, all was silent, as Yondu just held the boy tightly. He knew he had been through an emotional ordeal so severe that it made the meningitis he had when he was eight resemble a simple cold. As he just felt the small breath of the teen on his neck, as Peter adjusted slightly, and Yondu was suddenly aware of the tension in his frail body. 

“There boy, you’re alright now”. Yondu muttered with his voice dropping to a low whisper, as Peter just squirmed slightly, as in the defensive part of Yondu’s brain curiosity begun to override everything. 

Peter had died and had come back to life, somehow. What did he see? Yondu had often wondered when he died would he be reunited with his slain family even though he had done nothing good to get to the afterlife.

In response, Peter just moaned slightly in his arms, and if he seemed to be reading his mind suddenly said in a hoarse whisper. “It was dark, and I was falling, and then was light”.

Kraglin, who was currently leaning against the med bed, just raised an eyebrow, and the teen continued. 

“There was someone there”. Peter's vocal nodes were thanks to some medication appearing to return to normal, and his speech wasn’t as stilted as before, as his face scrunched up as if he was trying to retrieve a memory, and it was obvious he was failing. 

“What was there?” asked Yondu, since it was clear the teen wanted it rid from his mind as a frown just crossed Peter’s face, after a few moments. “I don’t know”, he finally managed to get out, as Yondu just gently stroked his stubbly fuzz of hair, as Peter’s memories were beginning to return, and he just shuddered. 

“There was…an explosion, everyone was dead”. As Yondu recalled the bastard who had caused all of this and knew what Peter was talking about. 

“Kruger died, you killed him…you’re safe now”. 

Peter didn’t look that convinced, but it was enough for now as he drifted off while Yondu sat with him for a while longer. 

 

In the end it fell into a routine, after Peter woke up occasionally distressed but with his body and especially his vocal nodes healing even if he was confused he had Yondu was there right away to hold him in his broad arms and to console him. 

Eventually he started telling his stuff about his life, that how he was well respected and a great Ravager, which to Peter felt like bullshit, but he let Yondu indulge his fantasies as in the depth of Peter’s mind he could recall more about himself. He was Peter Quill from Earth, his mom was called Meredith, he was born in America.

However other things felt like he had seen them in a dream, looking older with long blond-brown hair and building blasters even though he was sure he had never picked up one, until further on when he recalled that he could, and do it well too, and felt relieved. 

But there were other questions that needed answers to as one day his hand curled over Yondu’s callused blue one. 

“How old am I?” in the depths of Peter’s mind, this was like a re-run of an emotions that he had experienced, as Yondu Udonta , who had just indulged his questions if he had one and had given his answers even if there were no questions. Yet he found himself looking away from the boy, whose eyes were still healing. Hell, this was a question, as he cleared his throat and told the boy as honesty as he could. 

“You turned fourteen a few weeks ago”. 

Peter just blinked, before give an uncertain “Oh”, before settling down and looked to be thinking for a moment. 

“I feel so small, I thought I was eight again, and my life was a dream.” 

Yondu couldn’t deny the true statement of the fact that Peter now looked younger than his fourteen years, and that was something he did need to do something about, as a look crossed Peter’s face. 

“So I’m fourteen, I had my birthday while I was sleeping”, the voice sounded so tiny, Yondu afforded himself a moment of guilt as he just nodded, as he felt a small moment perk up within Peter. 

“I can fly now…you promised me I could fly”. The teenage stated, looking his unfocused eyes at the Captains while Yondu couldn’t suppress a smile.

“Yeah, the moment you can, you get to fly”. He confirmed, pleased that the he was abler to remember his promise he had made all those years ago; it was a small thing, but it was something and Peter settled further next to Yondu. 

“I heard you, you know I heard you”. He whispered as sleep begun to claim him, and Yondu found himself frowning, thinking over the past few weeks of the boy’s life…and death

“What did I say?” 

The words Peter uttered caused the blood in Yondu’s veins to run cold, as he heard the boy’s statement. 

“Don’t be dead”.

Yondu just stared ahead, as Peter begun to settle down to sleep, looking contented even with the hell he now had to go through, as the Captain tried to think of something to say, before settling on. 

“You heard that?” 

Peter nodded, or what he took for a nod, as he curled in a little bit more, enjoying the presence of this moment of tenderness, as he seemed to sigh in his dreams, as from his small mouth came the unmistakable.

“I heard you...dad”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be concluded, in a few days...I mean it this time xx


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it is the final chapter, and a massive thanks to everyone for the follows, likes and the reviews and the Kudos...i love you all xx

The Sacrifice of Angels: The Final Chapter, Part 2

It was a three letter word that caused ever blood-filled vein in Yondu's body to freeze,

As gave it a few minutes before he got up from the chair and gently placing him back on the med-bed and for a few moments just stared at the teen, running his hands over his face trying to make sense of his words, before leaving him alone in his slumber.

He had the choice to go back to his quarters, but instead found himself walking to the mess hall. At that time of day, there was no one present, as he found himself grabbing a bottle of the Zatoan, noting that his stash had gone down, at least that was something Peter could do when he was more mobile, and he would be mobile...Yondu was sure of that.

Draining his bottle, he patched a call through to Kraglin, who to his credit arrived in less than five minutes, covered in grime from the engine room. A visual statement to the simple fact that Yondu had been neglecting his role as the Captain for too long, as he took a bottle of the Zatoan and passed it to his second mate.

Kraglin eyes the bottle, suspiciously. It was no secret among the Ravagers that the beer Peter had created was precious to the Captain and no one, but he was allowed a drop of the sacred drink, as he took he bottle and ripped open the cap.

Damn, it was good, too good. No wonder Yondu never shared, as he exhaled tasting the spices on his lips and looked back at his boss as Yondu cleared his throat.

"How well is Peter's recovery going? I know you've been speaking to Alezduran", as the Xandarian just shrugged.

"It's going well, he'll be on solids in a few days, and then there physio. No different from when he was eight really…why?" As he tried to judge the look on his Captain's face, but saw how distant he just looked.

"Right, then I want you to take over, the entire physio, and the recovery. Get the kid walking again, and all that shit" as Kraglin just blinked, yet an order was still an order…even as first mate he had the luxury of questioning it.

"Yeah, but why?"

"Because I've spent all my damn time with that little brat, when I've got a ship to run, and I'm sick to death of playing nursemaid. Peter's not dead, so we can get back to normal, so from this moment, he's your responsibility…am I clear Kraglin?"

Kraglin, to his credit as his Captains outburst, and perhaps the only person who really knew Yondu, nodded after a few seconds, but tried to understand, but only came to one conclusion.

"Did Peter say something?"

"For the love of God, Kraglin. Just take care of the little bastard, he's yours now. Hell, you've done this before, so you know the drill…and take Alezduran with you. He's been practically glued to his side since he woke up anyway".

Yondu stated, his eyes glowing redder than normal, as Kraglin used to this over the years, just exhaled.

"Fine, whatever. Talk about déjà fucking vu, then". As he drained the beer thoughtfully, coming to the conclusion that it was a shitty compensation for what he had to do, but he wasn't going to just let this one go.

"Look, I know I've done this before but think of Peter…what will he think?"

"The little sod can think what he wants, move his back to his quarters when he's ready, feed him what he likes and get him walking again".

The tone inflicting at the end of the sentence gave the indication that this conversation was over, as in Kraglin's mind he final admitted defeat, as placing the empty bottle on the side, he just shook his head and left the mess hall.

Whatever had been said to Yondu, he wasn't going to volunteer the information…if there was any information, but even he could help the unsettling feeling in his chest as he walked back to his quarters and sent a quick message to Alezduran explaining the situation.

It didn't change the feeling in his chest, as he stepped into the Med Bay with the Xandarian-Kree hybrid, to see Peter sitting up in bed, his recovering eyes, trying to focus on the room as he turned his head towards the door and just frowned.

"Yondu", Peter whispered, his vocal nodes still not perfect, as Kraglin and Alezduran grabbed a seat as the boys tried to make sense of what he was hearing.

"Look, Peter, Yondu wanted to be here but he's got the ship to run so from now on, we're going to take over".

Peter digested it for a few seconds, before just saying "Oh, Ok", in a flat voice that both of the Xandarian's understood, as they begun the process of getting Peter moving.

In the end it didn't take long, at first it was small movements on Peter's trembling legs, as he immediately gritted his teeth and the sweat poured down his face, like tears which Kraglin had noticed he had never shed, not even during the initial moments of his awakening, as eventually they led Peter back to his bed, almost asleep on his feet.

The next day, it was the same with Kraglin bringing him soup and other things that he needed to eat, which he just accepted without a word.

In Peter's recovering mind, he was confused and didn't know what to say, all he did know that hearing Kraglin's words had introduced the pain in his chest that he knew he felt before, but didn't know how to voice it aloud, as the familiar pattern of recovery returned.

Especially after he was taken back to his room adjoining Yondu's and as Alezduran and Kraglin placed him on the cool sheets that someone had been considerate to change, he just looked around the room remembering his past, and what he had done and who he was.

In between his physio and walk rounds, in which the crew didn't really get involved since Yondu had advised them all in advance that if they did he would make them pay for it, Peter did as he was told and just kept walking. Several times stepping past Yondu's room who on occasion looked out on the sight of Peter being led, and getting stronger every day, until he was able to move around by himself.

Even though Peter was getting better and his hair finally getting longer, but it was the silence that was starting to bother them both. They had tried to engage Peter in conversation, but he was reduced to small syllables, telling them that he felt "fine", even though they knew he was anything but.

However they were useless to do anything about it, as Peter just seemed a shadow of himself, and were both concerned that coming back from the sodding dead who neither of them could explain had done more damage than the scanners indicated.

It was Yondu however that was bothering Kraglin the most, his boss, and captain and above all even though the guy did his head in some days, which didn't change the fact that he was a great first mate and did his job well.

Caring for Peter, he didn't even mind that. Peter was a good kid, and needed help, having been through more than any child ever should, but it was Yondu's silence on the subject that was testing Kraglin's patience.

Unbeknownst to Kraglin and the rest of the crew, Peter was never far from Yondu's mind as he gave out missions, collected bounty's and threw himself into the job he had worked so long to get, and even longer to keep.

Hell, he was surprised that none of the crew had staged a mutiny in his absence while he was with Peter.

As one night, after he had closed the door his quarters, after watching the teen being escorted across the decks he just flopped on the bed, his arm over his face and just let his mind wander over the words Peter had said in his mind.

Peter had recognised him as a father, had woken up to his words, and had heard his voice in his mind, even though it should have been non-functioning.

"Dad", that simple word that changed everything and the simple fact the Peter saw him as his father, which he couldn't be. He couldn't be his dad, he had denied him the fact, and sure as he thought over the years he had treated Peter as a son or spoke to him as one at times, but being one. No that was impossible.

From that moment, he had to keep his distance, to make sure that Peter knew he was the Captain of a bunch of Space Pirate Bastards, and no one's father. Even if as he made that vote, convincing himself that Peter was getting older and was now almost a man, that he most certainly didn't need a father, to teach him stuff.

Hell the teen was practically self-sufficient, and was going to be a fine Ravager without any tender loving care from his Captain, as coming to the same conclusion as he had done over a dozen times, he begun going over missions and managed to ignore the constant stabbing in his heart.

This was a great idea, until he recalled in all of this he had forgotten the outcome of the abductions that had cause this, as he opened the film with a renewed determination to end this once and for all, even if the crew had said nothing up to now, as he pulled up the file.

Five million Units, after the treasures had been sold and totalled looked back at him, as he begun to divert his share, his first and second mate's share then the rest of the crews which was all equal since they had done none of the work, as his gaze fell on Peter's name at the bottom of the crew roster who had done all the work.

"What is he worth", a familiar voice chimed in his head, which he ordered to shut up, as next to his name and a very impressive account already, filled with his missions and beer making.

It was already a fortune as he diverted a million units into the account, and then sent the rest to the crew who would no doubt be basking in their fortune caused by the boys sacrifice, and he closed his pad and for a while just felt content.

Until the next morning when as Kraglin came in to remind him as casually as he could that Peter was going back to work that day, on reduced hours, and that Alezduran was going to keep an eye on him as Yondu managed to keep his face impassive with the exchange, and just gave a grunt in response.

As the day wore on, and the Elector changed direction to the next raid, eventually Yondu's curiosity got the better of him and leaving Kraglin in charge, he left for the Hanger bay.

He didn't step into the room, full of the myriad of crew going about their shifts, but instead looked through the Hanger glass to see the boy, sitting next to a table, with Blaster pieces in his hands.

Peter was slowly putting them together, remembering how he did it, and using what he hoped was muscle memory, a look of total concentration on his face, as he put the fragments into place, and as Yondu could see, he was doing it perfectly.

Give it a few weeks, it would be like nothing had happened, Yondu thought to himself, pleased to see the crew had taken his advice and even though thy were attentive, were not overloading the teen with information. Letting him do it at his own pace, at least he was grateful for that as with a swish of his court he left to return to the bridge.

However he never saw Peter looking up at he left, and even though Alezduran never noticed, the sadness was etched all over his face, as eventually Peter's limbs grew more tired, and with the Blaster completed, he walked the in reality not that far, but due to his limbs still recovering felt like longer, and practically collapsed on the bed.

He knew Kraglin, would come in later with food, since he was too hesitant to sit with the crew yet, feeling a bout of nervousness every time he thought of it. He knew he had died, but then he came back, and he couldn't explain it, other than he felt cold, even his memory of waking up felt like a distinct dream.

He had no idea what he had said, his brain a myriad of new impulses and old memories, all he knew he what that he felt cold all the time, and he couldn't tell anyone.

Peter desperately wanted to sleep, he was tired and needed to rest, but as so many times his finger curled over his pad. He could have listened to his music, his Walkman currently lying next to his mother's gift, still unopened, as he scratched the back of his neck.

Not even death had given him the curiosity to open it, but he had to see it, he needed to see the memories as he typed in his date of birth and accessed the files over his past few years, the videos replacing the gaps in his memories, and desperate for answers he clicked on one of the videos.

It was a typical one, him perhaps a few years earlier, unable to go on a mission and despite to fly, bitching about his situation in life while slagging off his captain. Followed by other showing how happy he was being a member of the crew and how he had made his Captain proud, it was a mixture of emotions charting his life, as

As eventually he placed the pad down, and with exhaustion claiming him and sleep encroaching just came to the same conclusion his brain sang almost every night.

He had come to the realisation that Yondu wasn't going to care anymore, and managed to stop the tears falling, as his mind said the same thing in an almost singsong voice, as it had the night he had woken up confused and separate.

Since his brains was still active, even though his body wasn't he turned back to the pad, once again scratching the back of his neck, and delivered his message to himself.

"Today I went back to work, and it was good…but he never came to see me, and just walked away". As Peter took a shaky breath and stated what was really on his mind.

"So it's true, it's really true…Yondu hates me."

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, this is a bit of a depressing ending, but it does get better, and the next part will be a bit lighter…well sorta, I'm just building to something epic.


End file.
